Beckham's old news for Man U supporters. How's Cristiano Ronaldo going to do today?

@Nickly: I think the old dude lives there now.

Opponents are always trying to rub out Clitsome at the top of the crease before shooting for the five-hole.

Always figured the Brewers and their fans were more likely to drown in beer than in Lake Michigan...

Scott needs to be on guard because these things come in threes... what's next? John Daly taking a dump on his desk mid-show?

Wouldn't naming the drink "Pole-a-Roids" be more appropriate for Manny?

Why does Carly Simon have a picture of Steven Tyler on her album cover?

@InSinSeer: It putsch a tear in your eye.

"Well, we couldn't let those other lugers learn aboot the alligator pit and the Whirling Blades of Doom (tm) now could we, eh?"

A Gretzky hasn't looked that nervous since they returned the blood and fighting to NHL video games.

Quit picking on Brownie. He just thinks New Orleans is in over their heads.

The Dale Earnhardt "Choose Your Own Adventure" book is a tad depressing, but it sure beats the Dick Trickle Scratch n Sniff.

Looking at that photo, Portsmouth must be in real financial trouble to hire a zombie coach.

Who knows more about getting de-pantsed than a guy who played against the Jordan-era Bulls all those years?

This is bizarre. Kind of like being invited over to a friend's house, getting mugged on his doorstep, and then when you question his place's safety, you don't get invited back to his new place after he moves. Where's the sense in that?

I'm sure the family is proud...

@Sandburgh: A tuque, of course.

@Civil Negligence: Pretty sure they call them Tallywhackers over there, or something funny-sounding like that.

@futuresuperbowlMVPJayCutler: Dong-Showing Vehicle?

@Chris Hanson's Axe: They send one of yours to the hospital, you strand one of theirs in a hurricane. That's the 'Nawlins way.