When a douche with bad hair, stands on his chair.

Is that the chest full of magic books about penises?

“Stanley died? Stanley who? The Cup guy?”

The thing about Mike Francesa is that he will say the same thing at least 15 times in a single segment. In a single segment, that is, he will say the same thing 15 times. 15 times. The same thing. 15 times. That’s really the thing. Saying the thing. 15 times. He says it. 15 times. Really, just listen to him. If you…

I’ve been so conditioned by the top image getting redder, that I honestly thought for a second that the video had been altered to lighten his skin.

As a Bears fan, this was me:

The amount of political bumper stickers (regardless of political leanings) is directly proportional to the nuttiness of the owner/driver.

Scary? Nah, I find this rather humerus.

Plus I heard that Cruz guy might be the Zodiac Killer.

It should be about the Crane family instead.

Koepka will have to get eyeballs and beefs out of his head quickly.

They don’t try to hurt people?! They blew up Vince McMahon’s limo and killed him!

It’s zero articles split in half. 

This just shows how far Deadspin has fallen. In the halcyon days of the site, you wouldn’t see a headline like this without a dick pic in the article.

does this post actually make no sense to anyone else?

I’ve headcanoned it as being because the cops bring wackos like Luis Tully by the Firehouse so presumably that is a regular thing to them and so they would carry a range psychotropic drugs incase of emergencies.

I am very disappointed in your lack of MacGruber.

I’m a Vikings fan and I wanted both teams to lose, but in a pinch, I would have been fine with the Bears winning that one.  We’ll avenge you next Sunday.

Lets just call it what it is: The Aaron Rodgers is whining about getting tackled rule.

I’m not even saying this as a joke: if the NFL is that serious about protecting QBs, move to flag football rules for just the QB.