Butter Trump is still under fire for his comments about how Canola Oils are all a bunch of Rapeseeds.

Honestly, that doesn’t bug me a bit. 18 hours per week isn’t much - it’s basically two workdays. My daughter spent 44 hours/ week in daycare. On the days when I could work from home, I still sent my kid to daycare, because it was almost impossible to focus on work when I had an infant that needed constant care and…

Once, my mom and dad told us they were giving us the house for the weekend while they were taking a cruise. I was 18 and I was going to have friends over. It was going to be a fantastic weekend!

When I was 12-13, I had discovered that I could use the internet to talk to people. My parents, who knew I was a precocious child, decided to install a spyware on the computer that would let them know everything I wrote, including awkward conversations I had with other preteen boys on IMVU (remember IMVU???) about…

Mine was thankfully only something I witnessed, but it was HORRIFYING. In middle school after leaving the dermatologist my Mom and I were at Walmart shopping for facewash. I was looking at the Neutrogena and Mom whispers in my ear “I never liked Neutrogena. It feels like cum on my face.”

I am so fucking sick of these government hatin’ conservatives that hog government jobs. Off to the private sector with you, ya cretins!

We’re both so lucky to have her.

he simply wants to thank his wife for being a good mother

Do you put your shoes on your hands and go “Hrmmmm, this is interesting!” It’s not interesting, it’s stupid and don’t post it over and over again.

Kids are terrible. That’s awful advice.

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

Is it a coincidence that this happens the same day of the Ashley Madison leak? Methinks not.

Rotisserie Style.

Undocumented goats being paid cents on the dollar, no doubt. Thanks Ollama.

You drink some fucked-up coffee.

Working at a fast food joint, the manager was a really nice man who did charity work with immigrant children on the side, was endlessly cheerful, and so on. I’m working drive-through. Customer orders his food in heavily accented English, and gets abusively irate when I ask him (politely) to repeat his order. I’m…

Oh hello 1996.