Ronald Reagan, noted teleprompter aficionado, presumably.

Um, what, I thought Doritos Loaded were created with drunk and/or high people in mind?

Wait, they make gloves without holes in them???

I love Humans of New York. It serves as a reminder that not everyone is shitty—often, they're pretty fucking great.

Mark Shrayber Occasionally Utilized Hyperbole in his Headlines - But What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind....

You know how sometimes it's sexier to see someone half dressed than it is to se them completely naked? This is not that.

She literally did! Her seventh book is coming out this fall. I mean, they're all poetry, so no one's ever read them, but it still counts, right?

her whole stroy: shes a sadistic cunt.

Not really. You just gave us a basic summary of the plot and then pronounced it dumb. You can do that with literally any movie.

American Horror Story Season 5: Nascar

that cat was as stoic as beyonce in an elevator

There is quite a bit of overlap between racists and people who have no idea how the Constitution works.

Fun fact, punishment is not the job of random ninjas.

There is a special place in hell for managers who comp the meals of total asshole customers. It only encourages them to keep their bad behavior up.

Maybe the fact that you couldn't spell Manziel correctly cooled the Times's interest a bit.

I don't want to seem like I'm defending Johnny Football.

I don't know if it's self-respect so much as self-adulation.