Oh the old men of sports journalism, so gracious and kind to all who conform exactly to their standards of "sports" "journalism." This sounds like Richard Deitsch in 10 years when his God complex has guttered down to sending nice notes to people who sent him nice notes back in 2011. Fuck these guys.

"That is just not how I was brought up. That is not the kind of man I am." — Arian Foster

"if you have an erection last more than four hours or if you fight off two fat cops and two other fat guys in plastic A's helmets, please consult a physician."

Young reporters tend to equate being flip and disrespectful in these sorts of instances with being "hard-core" or whatever. I've been to enough funerals and eulogies where other reporters are acting like dicks and making jokes and it's all done as some ugly, grizzled theater. This is just another display of it and I'm…

"Eh, I thought the backup was better than that Mays kid. It'll be like Tom Brady and Drew Bledsoe." — all of Steubenville