I can’t believe Rooney is only 31. In my mind he’s 38 or so. He’s been around forever, back when Man U was the only EPL team you could see on American TV, and that only occasionally.

Uh, that Jameis clip is actually of Mike “Giraffe Neck” Glennon.

You could say it Blinded Him with Science.

It would make a great movie car for a remake of Risky Business.

Same here. My reaction was “Really?! Take my money!”

Even stationary, the sculpture’s got more range than Jeets.

Roger only cares if it was caught on video. If they caught it, lifetime ban. If they didn’t, 3 games.

Accused domestic abuser and Uruk-hai chieftain Terrell Suggs is still on the roster, for God’s sake.

The Dune Encyclopedia is tremendous. I paid more than $100 for my copy and have never once regretted it.

God Emperor addresses that somewhat by offering a different question: what do you do when God is urging you to rebel against Him?

It’s a fair point. I tried working in a Kwisatz Haderach reference but figured no one would buy that name for an offensive lineman. “For he is the Gosder Cherlius!” does have a nice ring to it, though.

I would say God Emperor is pretty good, if you can get past Leto’s whiny personality.

Coincidentally, “the spice must flow” is Irsay’s personal motto.

Luck’s Dune book, like his offensive line, also has a weak front. And like the Colts’ D, the book can’t cover either.

The only correct answer to the movie prop question is the actual Maltese Falcon.

The transfer window is still open, of course, and Chelsea’s shock loss to Brighton in their season opener might wind up being a blessing in disguise if it allows Conte to convince the moneymen at the club to cough up the dough to bring in the necessary reinforcements.

I was texting with a Vikings fan buddy during the final drive of the Blair Walsh game, and was excited for him that they drove down the field to have the chip shot chance to beat the fuckin’ Seahawks, on a stirring last minute drive to boot.

Right? I read that they’ve never driven it and thought “What a waste.” Drive the goddamn car. Enjoy it. Enjoy life. Neither was meant to be hermetically sealed away.

The Bruce Banner of insects arachnids.

That’s no way to talk about Marlins Man.