OH, BOB SAGET!!

Right! I keep having to shell out my hard earned dollars to pay for the fucking fire department and my house has never once burned! Goddamn free loaders.

“Two-bits, four-bits...uh...shit... —GO GATORS!”

Compulsory.

Wow! The “hey” is something that I’ve actually noticed after sex. Oddly enough, in my experience, the genders were inverted. As a straight male, I’ve been “hey’d” enough times that it has actually’s made me wonder. My internal thought after returning the post-coitus “hey” eventually became “aren’t we a little past…

This is a 30-screenplay I wrote in response to Trump’s comment. Is anybody out there good with video editing? If so, would you please make this and share it. (Sorry about the weird formatting.)

...PARTICULARLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE AN M.D. FROM HARVARD MED AND SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BETTER! Either Jill Stein is a complete quack as a physician, or she is pandering to the loons. One way or another, it’s disgusting.

I’m sorry I couldn’t star this more than once.

The visitor locker room at Oracle must smell amazing right now.

My mom’s a doctor whose field is public health, and she and her colleagues are genuinely concerned about Zika to a degree that they haven’t been about a new illness in some time— much more so than with SARS or Ebola.

This might be a good time to also point out that a lot of cosmetic contact lenses are not packaged in an adequately sanitary way, and this could potentially expose you to eye destroying infections. Also, you should never store your contacts in water for the same reason.

“Not all of his shirt, mind you, because he didn’t ‘want to, like, die,’”

So sorry.

My grandfather was a “Mickey-Man” on a B-17 pathfinder (late war B-17 equipped with a radar array that led the bomber formations when the target was covered by clouds). He said the worst part about the unpressurized cabins was that saliva and vomit would freeze the the oxygen tubes shut in their breathing masks, which…

This is probably Ludacris’s boilerplate contract ride for when he tours. A lot of bands ask for stuff like toiletries and clean underwear when they tour, because, being on a bus and going directly from show to show, the venues are often the only chance they have to shower for long stretches between hotel stays.

Raptors’ starting team for Saturday.

Lived in both Houston and Austin. Austin drivers are oblivious and Houston drivers are pathologically aggressive.

Having lived in Austin, Houston, and New York having a brother in Los Angeles, I can confirm that Texas drivers in general, and Houston drivers in particular are the worst in the country. Texas cities manage to make driving on the already chaotic sprawl of their hyper traffic dense urban freeways all the more…

You’re assuming he read the entire article before scrolling down to the comment section.

Throw Alfred Jarry in there too.