Word! That's why the NFL has trainers.

The seafood's delicious. Tastes like petrochemicals and cholera.

What's not to love about Galveston's beaches? It's got it all: murky, oil slick water faintly smelling of rotten eggs, rusted metal strewn around the sand, FOUR different kinds of hepatitis!

Brandon Weeden is probably very glad he's now eligible for Social Security.

So when do we tell them the woman who wrote "America the Beautiful" was a lesbian? http://www.gayheroes.com/bates.shtml

A little reading to help the Broncos pass the next 4 minutes before it all ends: http://www.amazon.com/The-Myth-Sisyp…

It's nice to see Denver wants to make it up to Seattle for what happened with the Supersonics, but even this is a bit much.

Let nobody say Seattle breeds fair-weather fans. It takes a special kind of diehard fanatic to keep watching in the 4th quarter with a 35 point difference and not fall asleep.

36-0 with 3 to go in the 3rd=I wonder what's on C-SPAN. Are Seahawks fans even still watching at this point?

I kid. I lived in Houston and Austin for about 5 year and actually enjoyed it.

REMEMBER THE... Remember the...? Hang on, I got this. Damn it, no I don't. Help me out, Texas. What's that stupid building in San Antonio we're supposed to remember? You know, the one nobody outside of Texas gives a shit about and Ozzie Osbourne pissed on?

(Slow clap). Bravo, sir! Bra. Vo. Sir. (Choked up, sheds a single tear).

Bowel platters? Tell me more.

Being way too generous. I'm going with suicide before training camp even finishes.

And we're keeping Weeden!

He's got a really great scream: bright, crisp, and powerful, but not forced. The last person from Seattle who could get that vocal quality was Kurt Cobain.

At first I thought the Flying J rebates scandal was an indication that Jimmy Haslam was yet another CEO sociopath. However, looking at how embarrassingly dreadful his tenure as Browns owner has gone, I'm beginning to suspect the Flying J flap could actually be an honest mistake as the result of Haslam being a…

Given how open-ended research on the origin of terrestrial life is, it's probably too soon to rule out panspermia theory altogether. But, I think William of Ockham might have a few things to say about how complicated the theory is, particularly when things like the Miller-Urev experiment results give much simpler…

In that case the important thing is preserving the tradition.