The four-prong stamp is the, along with the taste of the liquid polio vaccine, is the most vivid thing I remember from my kindergarten physical. It didn't make me scream and cry like the MMR vaccine did, felt more like a prick that left four little red marks. I've had the sub-dermal TB test more times now than I can…

Yeah. The cocktail's called an "icesheet."

My understanding of encryption doesn't qualify me make any sort of informed comment on the effectiveness of this technique. However, since this technique has the potential to turn huge numbers of people into surrealist poets, this is something I feel I can really get behind.

You too? I'm using the doctor-recomended-all-natural-non-habitforming-over-the-counter-snake-oil-panecea-cure-all like T.V. told me to, but all it does is give me tunnel vision, make my hands shake and yell at people. How can that be if it's all natural?

About two years ago I was in a very similar situation while on a bicycle and happened to cross paths with an adolescent buck—This was on a college campus, hardly the wilderness of Yellowstone. He had (thankfully) fairly little horns and wasn't particularly big for a deer, but he still enjoyed reminding me that his…

"...NOW GET ME ANOTHER KIDDIE POOL OF SCOTCH!" —Robert Shaw

Screw Frost/Nixon, this was Frank Langella's finest role.

Naegleria fowleri, dude, seriously, it's bad enough you're eating people's brains, but this blackface thing is just way over the line. Even Yersinia pestis knows there's a limit to how much of a dick a pathogen should be.

...plague of white trash these little taints exemplify that made me leave Ohio. Was this Elyria? Just bulldoze the place and start over. The good news is this was probably the high point of their worthless lives, so now they can go die of a smack overdose and let heroin take care of what their mother's didn't have…

It's the plague of

Poor Houston. The Astro's can't even win with Sergio Escalona cheating.

Back when I was an actor, I had a gig at a theatre that was next door to a pretty high end restaurant. The restaurant had been disposing of their grease by dumping it down the drain. Of course the way everyone found the restaurant was doing this was when the illegal grease dumps backed up the drainage for the entire…

So, does this just mean he's a Skynard fan?

Thank you for this! It's been a rough week and these kids are helping me—and this is in no way an exaggeration—face other human beings again. They are very rad indeed! Thank you, thank you, thank you— Both to Jez for posting this and to these kids for being rad!

Please don't let this reflect poorly on the rest of Ohio. That's what the Browns are for.

Factuality: So, Ms. Ph.D. Candidate , why should we fund this study?

IMMA FUCK YOU UP!!!

If we're going to pursue a bad idea like Active SETI, we might as well make it bad as possible— Actually, wait. On second thought, this could help convince a hostile, space-fairing civilization that we're too worthless for them to make the effort of conquering us.

Have Jesus in your heart, in your ass... Whatever, Jesus is still in you.

Duff man can never die! Only the actors who play him.