Plus today is Dyngus Day! Better stay off the streets!

Pretty sure it’s illegal to operate a snowmobile while under 0.10 BAC.

Extracurricular? It's a mandatory course. They got rid of math and science to make room.

Buy now! ConAgra Foods Inc (NYSE: CAG)

+115,000,000

A clever agent would have gotten him $32 more. That would accomplish the same result with added appeal to computer nerds.

when you're at the Grammys throwing shade and no one has any idea who the fuck you are:

I thought he learned to stay out of k-holes.

whoooosh

His in-ring career may be over but if they don’t do *something* with him, the WWE is just throwing money away. Have him manage? Start a faction to manage? Have him be a ‘fun GM’ on Raw (like Mick Foley did)? Hell, make him an authority figure down on NXT.

After reading the advertisements, the linesman should have known to Dodge Wideman.

Remember that those are only federally filed suits, not those filed in state courts.

Flagged.

Kobe’s post-retirement statue is going to look pretty epic when they put it right under Shaq’s ass.

Why does the New York Attorney General care? There aren’t any NFL teams in New York state.

they had all of recorded human history up until about 2003 to get good at it.

Is it just me or do Seahawks fans remind you of people who came into money quickly, only to discover they can’t handle being rich?

Kids are cute, puppies are awesome, hockey players scoring goals is super...yet the inevitability of this gimmick being buried into the ground already annoys me. So I hope and expect you, the Deadspin hockey beat, will also post every time a kid holding a goal-for-puppy sign is forced to leave a game disappointed and…