He'd also know better than to turn his back on a witch.

kicked out of jezebel for being too sanctimonious?

only carefully placed thermite charges could have broken a man's ribs in the manner seen here

Most dudes go home and beat off after pretty much any encounter with a female. I've been flying half-mast all day since the drive-thru lady asked if I wanted a receipt.

LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! LOOK AT IT!

Let the Magikarp era begin!

Any excuse

that's not a push up, that's just humping the ground, onehanded.

Also, everyone should know by now that spoons are a really scary thing if you know how to use them.

my little sister and I play Dark Souls together every christmas. She just created a character. This is bah humbug city for us. We love gaming together.

I used to have a patient in an isolation cell in prison who self-mutilated all the time. He was always puncturing a lung and his arms were nothing but scar tissue. He was to be fed nothing but "Nutri-loaf" (A blend of whatever was served during chow during the day, blended up and baked into loaves, so no utensils…

Now the holiday season is truly complete. It's tradition in our home to gather round the fireplace as a family, mugs of cocoa cupped in our hands, while Granpapa reads the list of objects people have stuck up their asses.

Depends on what sort of relationship you have with the local squirrels.

Hodor?

I saw Insane Masturbatory Rampage open for Slayer in '92.

Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.

Anything specific really stand out that you'd care to comment on based on what he's written so far? I'm legitimately curious.

I would never go into any LotR game expecting to fight Sauron because it's just not plausible. Hell, even Peter Jackson decided that having Aragorn fight Sauron at the end of Return of the King was a terrible idea.