Once it does slow down you have this gloriously bad chase scene that I will forever love as much as Heavy Rain’s fail-every-quicktime chase scene.

Right. It is a conspiracy theory after all. It’s not much worse than R+L=J was in the beginning. Better than the theory that Varys is a secret Blackfyre.

Cersei/Jaime being Targaryen bastards makes much more sense than Tyrion:

Pretty sure the Joanna-Aerys thing is only theorized, not confirmed. He acts very familiar at the bedding ceremony, but I only ever got the vibe that it was meant to imply that Aerys was jealous of Tywin, sowing the seeds of distrust that would sprout later between best friends.

Why Golem over Rhydon?

Where’s that biting Destiny a-game-where-the-first-paragraph-of-Kotaku’s-articles-is-more-compelling-than-the-first-4-years-of-content snark that’s kept me reading your articles?

Why golem and not rhydon? Doesn’t rhydon have higher CP? It also takes less candy to evolve.

We’re all team yellow.

Yeah, I didn’t even feed my pokemon, and it was stuck at a gym for a week (6d 22h). Still only came back with 50 coins... Now I just leave low- to mid-CP pokemon and hope they get defeated in a reasonable amount of time.

“Man is to woman as shopkeeper is to...”

I imagine them slowly floating around the screen like a windows logo on a screen saver.

I know where this is going...

A dragon event that would currently only get you dratini and horsea? I guess charmander, exeggcute, and mareep could show up if we’re considering future evolutions. I think we’re a few generations away from a critical dragon population.

The game canon? Like where where you’re not Ash and don’t start with Pikachu?

Okay, so to all you other deviants who watched the full movie:

Came here to post Versailles, MO. Apparently there are several Versailles in the US. And that pronunciation immediately makes someone sound uneducated.

Yes.

At least they buffed the type advantage multiplier like I asked.

That sentiment is soooooooo February 2017. Get with the times.

It’s like a smaller, faster version of the most effective Battle Bots design (ramp).