He then got a letter from Belichick that read: “Congratulations on a tremendous campaign. You have to deal with an unbelievable slanted and negative media and have come out beautifully. You have proven to be the ultimate competitor fighter. Your leadership is amazing. I have always had tremendous respect for you but…

I’m glad you mentioned girls in a small town instead of just your dad in a trailer for a “get laid” bet.

My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

But why would a man who constantly lies and never got caught believe a bunch of stupid conspiracy theories that claim government officials are lying about everything?

Not surprised he would do that. He’s always been a “me me” kind of guy.

Curiously, Melania Trump was not part of the photo

We’ve seen Jets get roasted this badly before. The planned demolition of the W*redacted*

He’s certainly not booing Old County Buffet, that’s for sure.

It must be heartbreaking, knowing that your father doesn’t really want to have sex with you.

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

there’s a guy outside who says he needs to be in here

You learn a lot about yourself after dating what appeared to be a vivacious sexpot you met at a fun party, but who in reality was an unhinged loon with serious alcohol/drug problems.

Crazy is also fun, though

No, this was not the only good part of the debate.

My personal fav was when she said “he choked” while in Mexico. The train flew clear off the tracks after that.

*Super Lanyard-dick voice* Hey get a load of this election... it’s like have we TRIED turning the election off and turning it back on, folks....?

Has someone tried uhh... cleaning the heads of the uh VCR but it’s this election because I think they are dirty

Do you remember when Ted Cruz was spouting off about carpet bombing (which verse was that in the Bible? I can’t remember) and Obama went on the record saying essentially “That is a literal war crime. We are bombing as much as intelligence allows.”

I saw this on the interwebs somewhere - not sure who it’s attributed to - but god damn it is spot on and worth a re-post elsewhere.

In response to Michelle’s comments, Melania Trump said, “Uh, no, not really. No, because you have to be in it, if you’re in it, and if you don’t agree you’d should have agreed before they ran. Bottom line is, if I didn’t agree with what Barack was saying, I would not support his run. So...I stand there proudly, and I…