He was busy protecting his own girlfriend, pictured here:

Ready for the full Arsenal Champions League Group Stage Experience:

That name’s too long. Let’s shorten it a little bit.

A medal rack, Katie? Bryce doesn’t even own A medal, let alone many medals that would necessitate an entire rack. What is Bryce gonna do with a medal rack?

Horniest team? The Swiss, you idiot.

Stockholm syndrome: it’s finger lickin’ good.

Guy 1: [Gets hit by a car]

Well, provided the left can get its act together, which, let’s face it, is a depressingly big if, we DO have a shot at taking back the Senate. Which would give the democrats the presidency, Supreme Court, and senate. It’s going to be real hard for the GOP to continue stonewalling with just the house.

What amuses me the most about the Clinton scaremongering is that it’s coming from people who absolutely worship Ronald Reagan, who really did suffer from a neurological condition (alzheimer’s) while in office and hide it from the public. I’m sure every single of one these people would retroactively defend Reagan’s…

This, for me, is the biggest sign that the establishment Republicans are scared shitless.

A triple-triple sounds like Prince Fielder’s order when they send for burgers

Next stop: weeping

Finest Kind, to everyone.

Deadspin was a website and commenting community that introduced me to a kind of humor I didn’t know existed, and I am both better and worse for it. Better to have laughed my ass off for years, at no cost. Worse because I know know the world is full of normies who will never get the joke and will not quite understand…

Now and forever: Get Bent

Iron Mike Gallego was a very bad commenter screenname but not the absolute worst. My vote goes to Same Sad Echo — what does that even mean?

I blogged about Deadspin’s comments five nights a week for literally years. And stayed married the whole time!

hmm

There’s a strong intersection between the type of dude who wants a brown turbo diesel manual wagon, and the type of dude who would fly 5000 miles on a whim to see a woman he’s only texted.