Sometimes, you don’t even hear or see the cannon shells that rip you to hamburger. Or...the point is...you are still alive when they start to eat you.

It doesn’t hurt that Clinton and Richards are about 19x smarter than anyone else in the room.

Making Sean Penn feel outraged is like looking at fish in a barrel.

You’re right...it’d only be fair, cubs fans were nothing but graceful after their wins in the wild card game and NLDS, so we really should try to—PPPFFFFFFT BAHAHAHAHA oh man, sorry, couldn’t finish that one with a straight face

Yes

Most photographed person in the world is my neighbor. You’ll be mine one day, you little minx you...

In the old days you got three podcasts, now you only get one.

Seeing the profane reactions by Eagles fans in Weatherford’s mentions was actually quite shocking. I had no clue any Philadelphians could figure out how to post on Twitter, let alone afford a smartphone.

Can’t tell if serious. . . Columbus day is a federal holiday that’s in the middle of October. Schools, banks, federal government (and possibly local/county/state governments as well) are all closed. Therefore it is a 3-day weekend for many people. It is one of the lesser known 3 day weekends in the US, most…

UGHHH, racist old lady, federal age limit for who can be a manager lady, lobster lady, skeletor...actually every single person who has ever been an asshole to a server/cashier/customer service person. I’ve had to suffer a variation of all these jackasses. A woman who I could not cash out because we had closed who…

One in particular was a middle-aged man we had nicknamed Skeletor.

I did a spit take when I heard this. Thanks for calling bullshit. Hearing a rich guy who announces football games for a living complain about taxes makes me dust off my guillotine.

A 13 y.o. kid gets to watch his idols play professional basketball from up close and ends up befriending a young sports writer (adorable).

This is a historic day. The first time I’ve ever enjoyed Frank Isola.

I’d guess with some sort of explosive projectile.

This message brought to you by the Charles and David Koch Foundation.

Multi-billion warships loaded with men AND women are sent to do just that, quite frequently, and have been for a great number of years.

Right. A “sham” that 97% of scientists are wrong about.

You know, if China wants their fake land grab to last, they’d damned well better stop contributing so much to climate change. Otherwise, that shit will be underwater and irrelevant in no time.