Hopefully, hopefully he heals as fast as Dad Adrian Peterson.

Where do you get your sense of moral superiority over Deadspin? Where do I get my moral sense of superiority over you? Where does the hypothetical third actor get his/her sense of moral superiority over me?

Government under the control of people like him is basically like one of those hideous insects that murders its prey and then wears its skin around as a disguise.

Dan Snyder is not only a smug and insensitive prick, he's also dumb as fuck. This explains why when asked to write an open letter, he simply responded with C.

Matt Schaub: [calls NFL Security]

Between the legs reach around!

Fight crazy with crazy, Matt. Sublet your basement to George Zimmerman.

It's really been dialed back.

This email is totally depressing to those of us intelligent, sensitive men who participated in fraternities. When I was a frat brother, yes we did drink, but we never, ever would "mack" or "hit on" girls that were past the point of good judgment. That's a horrible awful thing to do. In my frat, we learned a sense of…

Wow, this really does reflect the worst of college bro culture. It's unconscionable that there are college students out there who think that this behavior is okay.

Also, if you have a picture of Peyton Manning's naked bootleg, please email us. We'll pay you $307.80 for it.

So let me get this straight, Dominic: your job requires you to bend over while another man stands directly behind you with his hands brushing your taint, and you're questioning someone else's sexuality?

I've never fully recovered from the Dinosaurs finale. Fucking scarred the 8 year old in me for life.

Ranking the Futurama "Finales":

"This is really ugly," he said. "There are all sorts of references to Barack Obama. So now I know where they are coming from"

It is not acceptable to mock any person for having suffered. ... When you end up in the psych ward or rehab I'll be happy to visit you.. and would not lower myself to mock you.