"Kim, I've selected this week's wardrobe for you. As you can see, it is heinous."

Whatever, I love the pointy toe! Super pointy, kindy pointy, some weird blend of pointy and rounded, doesn't matter. They make my ankles look thin & my legs look even longer. Pointy toes!

"Something really horrible and personal happened to me. I can't wait to tell millions of people!"

I recently re-discovered my super-pointed-toe burgundy fake alligator skin pumps (they're way more lowkey and tasteful than you're imagining, I promise) and felt a twinge of embarrassment when I realized that no one really seems to be wearing the super pointy toes anymore.... and then I wore them anyway and it killed.…

I can't read this conversation because there are no hashtags in it.

Here is why I hate all the amateur-hour fashion programs on E! and the slideshows and D-grade fashion "experts," in or out, what-not-to-wear idiots blah blah: I click on the link and immediately recognize that Mrs. Obama is wearing Alaïa.

DANCE MIX!!

I swear to god, half the time I don't even know wtf Kanye West is talking about. It's just words strewn together in things that sound like sentences with smatterings of god-complex. If you opened his head & looked inside, I'm fairly confident it would look like this...

JK Rowling on paying high British taxes on her immense fortune:

Is it weird that I wanted to give a thumbs up at my screen in return? 'Cause I don't think it's weird.

This is pretty much a natural human response. It's the reason why we find babies to be so cute—as unromantic as it is, it's a basic instinct that we have to save our species.

As far as the Tompkins Square Dog Halloween Parade goes, Gracie the Glamour Pug will always be my perennial favorite.

Could I venture a guess that you're not British? Because if you were, I daresay you'd have a much more ambivalent view. Which is not to say that Prince Charles is the devil incarnate, but he's nobody's folk hero, either. Truly. I'm sure he's a decent enough chap, but he's also a massive critic of wind turbines and a…

You got to make the government small enough to fit in a vagina.

I went to The Buckley School too... My mom moved us out of LA after a few years because she "didn't want me caring about a Prada purse more than other people".

Crossing swords. Duh. No homo.

Cannibals? Goddamn, pakeha. You may have lived there but I guess you didn't learn all that much.

Related but not really related, just wanted to take this opportunity to recommend a wonderful Maori movie called Boy. It's so funny and sweet. Same director as Eagle vs. Shark. And if you have ever been to NZ or spent time with Kiwis, this movie will just warm your heart and make you miss it. They kind of mix the…

Ewww! What a freak!