It sounds like, either way, you run a legitimate risk of ending up exhausted and cleaning up poop. Damned if you do, dammed if you don't.

/gets 10,000 favorites

Giuliana should be the one getting the boot. But she has that entire network eating out of her hands. She must have some interesting videos of the E! executives with Ryan Seacrest because she's not funny, or particularly interesting.

I know, right? I've never done a mattress check but I will from now on.

OH MY GOD! That last one!

I was staying at a Holiday Inn on Thanksgiving night on Hollywood Blvd with my family. My dad was getting a cosmetic surgery the next day at Cedar Sinai so my mom and sisters and I were all going to initiate ourselves into the madness that is Black Friday.

We checked in around 8pm and at…

Things I have learned:
1. I never got the memo of the standard mattress check, and now I'm terrified at what syringes and other craziness I have missed out on.
2. I would absolutely be lured outside and robbed and murdered at 2a in a motel parking lot.

the grossest thing I've ever seen in a motel:

I once had a lady post a Tripadvisor review about my property saying that I specifically ruined Christmas for her and that her children are scarred for life now. All because I wouldn't let her family have an impromptu party by the pool with glass containers and two extremely drunk parents. Hotel reviews are fun.

On a sort of related-ish note, this is my favorite Yelp review of an awesome little local restaurant, that admittedly, seems to keep odd hours and only accepts cash (but is delicious):

When I loaded this page, your comment had 6 replies and 66 likes. Definitely a sign, even if I've now gone and ruined it. For posterity though:

Everything about this story makes me livid, starting with their wanting to separate a family because "Marsha and I always planned to have five children". These abominations would split up traumatized siblings because it didn't conveniently fit in to their plans. That should have absolutely been a red flag right from…

"Marsha and I always planned to have five children..."

Dear State of Arkansas: file child abuse charges against these scumbags posthaste, because isolating a child for hours on end IS abuse.

if there are actual people that do this then we need a new plague

If corporations are truly people, McDonald's is the guy who takes five ones on the table at the start of the meal, announces that it's the tip, and pockets one for every time the waiter's groveling is insufficient.

Little did I know, when I set out to find the creepiest McDonald's picture I could, that I'd find a perfect image within 15 seconds.

I just found this on Amazon and am so so tempted to order it. "This will get you out of ruts!" one review enthuses.

I wanted something very specific for my very small wedding and thought it would be nicer (and cheaper) to make them by hand. My husband is a cartography dork so I folded little sailboats out of maps and used other map-related scrapbook paper and all sorts of bells and whistles on these 30 odd intricate little…