A good host is like a good office manager...they know all the gossip, can make your life heaven, or hell and smooth over most of the basic customer issues. A bad host can sink the ship. No survivors.

Prodigal Son: Kid Rock. Picture your button-downed dad/boss in a suit singing it. And (in my head) killing it.

I love how he keeps saying that he wants the ball “back.”

When the Clippers moved to SD, Mr. Sterling plastered San Diego with billboards of his mug saying “My Promise: I will make you proud of the Clippers”

So, like Lance Armstrong?

Reminds me of one of my favorite tweets:

I was in San Diego last week and got stuck at Dad's house watching the local news. KUSI. "Independent!!"

ugh...I tasted the soap brownies. I cannot untaste them. We are still trying to figure out the steps involved that had dry soap (our assumption)added into a dry brownie mix. Unless her kids punk'd her.

Customers will walk in, saunter right up to me and (only) say..."tablecloths?"

I have no idea how that soap thing happened. I can still taste it and it was about 4 years ago. Pure soap flavor. Probably dishwasher powder soap. Yuck!

ugh, that coffee guy. I worked at Fancy Kitchen Store and would deal with people looking for a "normal" coffee grinder, or "regular" toaster. Eventually I got that they were just asking for a cheap(er) one. To me, all of our products were normal, except for a couple of vacuum coffee makers or induction cooktop…

I like to make a list the night before of the stuff I need to do the next day. I can be a worrier and wake up a little stressed out. So now I just wake up and go "hmmm...I've only got one thing today!" (that would be the list)

I had to actually explain to my managers (a few of them over the years) that "as the son of public school teachers, I cannot let ignorant people keep believing in incorrect facts"... Like when customers told me about a location and/or entree that DOES NOT EXIST!!! (I believe you're referring to TGIFridays or…

I waited on Oliver North back in the early 90's. I didn't like the guy and soooooo wanted to make a comment, but he was so charming, polite and friendly that I lost all my nerve and was his "helper buddy" during his meal.

When I could tell ahead of time that there would be a check-picking-up-contest, I'd print an extra one and give out two! "you both can pay!!"

It's Guy Fieri in the form of a beverage.

You would think, right? Again, playing dumb and ignorant (always happy and appreciative, never defensive) seemed to diffuse most people. "thanks! I've never seen that before." The worst people were the ones who had the name of the drink only, but didn't know what was in it. (for the uncommon drinks, not the…

I found that playing dumb and making them explain the logic a great way to respond. It worked different ways. When I tended bar, guests would be shocked that I was unaware of the special drink that you ordered from the other guy that one time. "Someday I'll know ALL THE DRINKS!"

So, wait. There WASN'T a Penn State Pedophile scandal? (dad went to Rutgers many years ago and I will defend them with knee-jerk consistency, regardless)

As the song says, "It's been awhile...", so let's see if I can remember correctly!