Oh there you are. Where the fuck is my COTY?

You had four years to get this joke.

Sure, you can call it spades. We refer to it as “diversity bridge.”

[cums]

take to the comments to let us know what sorts of awards should be awarded

I understand your visceral reaction, but consider the following:

Holy shit, is this actually Ross Tucker? Huge fan of your work!

Yeah, I’m really not sure what a low-T man would do, and I’m not sure it ultimately matters. I could be off on all of that.

She’s getting her testosterone from her undescended testicles. Does that change your opinion?

Based on how she negative split her 1:54 totally alone, and her 400m time, and the fact that everyone who follows the sport thinks she’s in 1:51-1:52 shape if she got to race someone.

It is definitely not all testosterone based. The biochemical events that lead to intersexuality actually can affect the body’s ability to make use of the testosterone inside it, so it’s very complicated.

If he were young, and could handle the training, he’d probably have a similar ceiling. Her ceiling is well above 99.999% of women, and most low-T men.

The women’s WR in the 800 was set by a woman who was so full of steroids she looked like a grown man. Semenya could probably run 1:51-high right now.

Totally agree that Caster Semenya has done nothing wrong here, and that it’s unfair that she’s been put in this position (and that this is all a lot murkier than we knew even ten years ago). But there definitely is a fair answer, and it’s the one we had in place before the CAS’s really, really dumb ruling. Caster…

Well, the first thing they do when someone undergoes a man-to-woman sex change operation is to radically suppress her testosterone levels, so I think it’s fair to say that testosterone and gender are completely intertwined.

I think both of your statements are correct. She’s running times in the 400 and 800 that only really fast young guys are running, so I’d be shocked if many low-T men could post her times in those races.

Oh boy.

Have any of you figured out who’s been secretly funding my comments?

“And here’s the championship question: How far can you punt a football?”

you read Deadspin and are statistically most likely to be an irritable dad with a law degree