As we all know by now, or at least most of us know, or in case you didn’t know, Gawker no longer exists because it published a video of Hulk Hogan fucking some guy’s wife without the Hulkster’s prior consent. We will not make that mistake here at Gawrker.

Today, after six years, and a similar number of screen names, I am retiring from Deadspin.

After one of the more exciting and controversial fourth quarters in recent memory, it's probably safe to say that the first faint odor of victory was not smelled by Cowboys fans until Dan Bailey's extra point put the home team up 24-20 with only 2:32 left on the clock. With a four-point lead, and the field goal…

Congratulations to the 2014 Sidee winners — you are all horrible, horrible people:

Here are your nominees for the 2014 Sidees, presented by Chevrolet:

A scientific study.

Been a lot going on 'round these parts recently, and since we don't feel like doing anything productive, how about you just ask us some questions, yeah?

1. Shopping carts

Seriously, who the fuck are you people.

1. Nicki Minaj, "Monster" (My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy)

And that someone is me.

Favorites, in no particular order:

1. Nothing.

As you probably guessed, my 14 in '14 plan is dead, and I apologize. An unfortunate confluence of too little time on my part and too few volunteers on your part. But we move on.

First off, I want to thank all of you who re-applied for your commenting job. There were many worthy mediocre submissions, but unfortunately I can only pick eight of you to continue.

OK, now that all of the fake accounts are gone, I realized that the rest of you really aren't any less annoying. Just stop it with your awful commenting. I can't even focus on today's high-quality posts with all that nonsense down below.

I'm not going to mention anyone by name, but can we stop with the obvious second accounts? I realize this sounds funny coming from the guy who was BlessedtoComment, but that is a totally different situation — I was asked by Deadspin to form a parody account for the purpose of trolling, and there was a public post on…

While you were sleeping, a bunch of fast guys you've never heard of ran the Dubai Marathon. I get it; no one follows the marathon. But maybe this will grab your attention: a kid who would be in his senior year of high school just ran 26 straight 4:45 miles.