Damn. Being the most entertaining man on TV for two decades is now called being mediocre.

You think he’s cute? Not that I’m judging you. Just surprised is all.

Neh, you should slash their tires instead. Think of the lives you’d be saving. You’d be a hero, man.

This is why mandatory state inspections every couple of years are good. I used to live in a state that had no inspections. Not a day went by when I didn’t see a car on the highway that was clearly unsafe, and most usually also being driven at an unsafe speed or in an unsafe manner.

When a ‘90s Malibu needs new tires, I’m pretty sure it’s considered totaled.

I hope he isn’t, that would be disappointing, he seems like a decent guy.

Right? How much lower can they possibly go?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

Then get a base model Ranger or F150 and be able to walk away from a crash. That ‘71 will actively try and kill you in a wreck.

It’s significantly smaller a where it counts: width. You can park a Ranger in a New England parking spot and comfortably exit. You’d have to do a 3-point entry with a full-size F-150, before sliding out sideways while trying not to ding the door on the adjacent car.

The way pickups depreciate, you can land a 2019 Ranger with 188,000 miles on it for $14,000 in 2029.

Just like the cloth seat Lexus and the manual transmission Mercedes, we only have vague reports of its existence.

Absolutely, and I can’t wait to do that in another decade when I pick up one of these on the used market...

Now time for the mythical Jalop to put down his mythical money on this mythical base model version.

You are comparing apples to hammers...

I mean, it is more powerful and a lot larger than a Fiesta. Also, trucks are hot and desirable in the US right now, small cars aren’t. Utility is a premium and a midsize truck can offer a lot more utility over a small hatch.

If i were buying a Tesla, i would opt for the All-Weather package, unlike these two cheapskates.

I mean, I heard the panel gaps were pretty big on the 3, but this is ridiculous.  

What amazes me is how thoroughly the ring wing has successfully assassinated Moore’s character in the public eye.