Olney: “Among the Phillies prospects being evaluated by the Orioles are 23-year-old right-handed pitcher Franklyn Kilome, 19-year-old outfielder Jhailyn Ortiz, 20-year-old infielder Arquimedes Gamboa and 21-year-old right-hander Adonis Medina.”

Some dudes love the game. Got all your life to not play baseball. Might as well hold off from quitting the coolest thing you’ll ever do until they drag you away kicking and screaming.

Probably busted on some indirect introduction of Tide Pods in his system.

What are you doing, John Goodman? :(

Proposal: a daily Deadspin feature on how whoever starts in right field for the Cardinals played that day relative to Giancarlo Stanton.

Just wait until i develop a genetically superior breed of salt. You’ll look like a fool.

He’s far more sufferable than Morrissey.

This made me like him. Jerks.

Israel Horovitz.

Hello mother leopard, I have your cub. You must protect her. But that will be expensive. 10,000 Kola nuts. Midnight. Behind the bush. I’ll be the hyena. You’ll see.

I am internet commenting on a blog post about an email referencing a tweet which leaked info about a Youtube tab.

At least I’m not wasting my entire fucking life over here.

Absolutely

Cool to see that Vols played a role in both wins. (Times are tough. We’ll take what we can get.)

Yeah well that being the teams twitter account allows them to say that, douchebag.

I mean, the article sorta beat you to that one.

A phallic victory, if ever one existed.

Nothing but respect for my Mayor of Flavortown.

You don’t season them yourself, you don’t even know what your wife puts on them, and you’re on the Internet acting like an expert. How very 2017 of you.

When the topic first came up, I stood on the sidelines quietly, because who am I, among anyone, to judge? But you brought it up again, and I can remain silent no longer. If you season a quality cut of steak with anything beyond a few grains of salt and pepper, you’re a fucking asshole. I don’t care if you call me a…