You need an immediate induction into the Deadspin hall of fame. Like Lou Gehrig getting Lou Gehrig’s disease.

I work in a lab that handles blood and DNA that isn’t busy or police related, and it takes a few weeks. Know why? There are a lot of steps, and you want to make damn sure that you got the right answer.

When? Trout slipped by some people in the first round of the draft, but he’s been crushing it since A ball.

I love “Mango Mussolini.”

This guy gets it. Everyone is tying up some knot of racism and hypocrisy. This is the basis of the comparison, end of story.

Deltron 3030- Madness

Still the same owner who listens to homeless people for the advice.

To the world’s detriment, there is only one Liam Neesons.

Liam Neesons needed to tape shards of glass to his hands. Liam Neesons! And we still don’t know exactly how it went down.

“believe in yourself, and never forget that opposable thumbs are cool as hell.”

The son of a bitch knows story structure.

There are things I simultaneously despise and adore about Motley Crue. Schrodinger’s hair metal or something.

I saw Grizzly Man a decade ago, I guess I forgot this part.

I do wonder- when a bear eats a person, how much clothing do they ingest? Do they try and peel the wrapper? Do they just go to town on all of it?

I remember watching the competitions. Some bad ass HOF caliber players would show their stuff, and then Larry Allen would bench press everyone to oblivion.

PSA for those who don’t know, including the two pending replies.

So dumb I smiled.

Contexts. He was a quiet player and pitched in the AL East during the steroid era and often in Camden Yards. ERA doesn’t make a good first impression. With Raines going in, I bet Mussina and Walker become the next causes.

Having Ivan Rodriguez on the same ballot hurt him too. I’ve read many people say “Pudge is a HOFer but not first ballot” which is asinine to me, but once thats been established no one is voting for Posada.

I was walking around DC a week ago and I saw some teenage doofus like this walking behind his parents and practicing his “dabbing.” I made eye contact with him and I’m certain he felt shame.