I don't know how old you are/your desire to have kids at some point, etc. but I found the IUD to be great. It goes in and that's that. It can be removed when its lifespan is over or you don't need it any more. Discuss w/your doc but I believe it can be used even if you haven't had children — I hadn't and it was fine.

Wowsers, that's beautiful! when I was younger I did some doilies and little baskets (was kind of an old-fashioned loving kid), but never anything that fine. Now I think I'm too blind for it and my patience level is way down.

How fun is THAT? It's like post-modern crochet, miles away from those granny squares yet handmade and quaint.

Agree w/you to a degree. It was so, so dark. And I admit that I watched all of the last 8 in one sitting, till like 4 in the morning. The last 2, in my mind, were like a coda.

Agreed! Yet there is skeeziness about his personal life/young women that I think make him less than PC.

First time seeing this video. What a hoot! This crazy kid has grown on me quite a bit. She's got talent and presence and a sense of humor about herself.

Beautifully put, and thank you. Wanted to add that* knowing* how you need to be loved is so critical, and I think comes as a result of self-knowledge and getting clear on what's really important. And that it can change/shift over time as we grow.

Hi I am late to this party but you've gotten some sage advice here, so that's good. Just wanted to say I feel for you. And I was struck by something you said about your partner, that he practically had to raise himself so doesn't know how to care for another person. I've seen that too, in my side relationship — much…

Priceless! So much truth here, good bad ugly. And he knows these things, having been married to the same woman for ~18 years. Thanks for the laugh!

Thanks for the validation regularjane! It has felt like an albatross for a long time, despite many, many good years of satisfaction and equal partnership and fun. I ended up doing a lot of the heavy emotional lifting when I wanted to move things forward as a couple. I've been moving in this direction at a glacial…

I hear you there. OK so maybe I was projecting a little of my own situation onto it...! Point taken about Penny needing the soul searching. It was so important for me to get clear on what I did and did not want going forward, separate from the other. And ultimately, it was neither choice. And, I can vouch that…

Yes, and on this thread alone I feel like I'm not the only one going through some of the same feelings and experiences. It can be so isolating and shameful.

Thank you, although I don't know you I do appreciate your good wishes. It all helps.

Thanks Ralstig! No more sidekick Dave on SNS... yes, Dan coined pegging, and even more deliciously, santorum. Tristan is a former porn performer who now directs movies and is a sex educator. Very smart, asks great questions, has interesting guests on, including the Sex at Dawn author discussed upthread.

I AM WISE.

Of course everything has its pitfalls. But if two people aren't on the same page about what's important, and they are not willing to work at getting on the same page (or their desires are uneven), it just breeds contempt and ugliness and destroys the last of what's good. I worked for close to 3 years to see if my…

I love Sex Nerd Sandra! Her interview on Urban Tantra was great. I listen to her all the time, along with Dan Savage (haters gonna hate, he can do no wrong in my book) and Tristan Taormino's Sex Out Loud. They all really kept me hanging on to my sexuality and desires when my intimate relationship w/my long-term…

This is beautiful, DrStringz. I feel very similarly to you about your relationship. Good for you for being honest with yourself. I think I stayed in my relationship far too long after it was over for me. But I was too afraid, too locked in, to really extricate myself. Because I love him! And we have a house, friends…

Love this! Good for you that you were able to work it out. I really tried and tried, did so much on my own, we did counseling together, I realized that could only go so far if he wasn't willing to work on his own stuff. There was someone else for me — he was a catalyst for me becoming aware of the cracks in my…

So agree w/the therapist idea! Having been through tons of work on this topic and still sorting it out, I've realized it's so important to understand and own what you're feeling, not to blame your partner, just to be really clear on what you want/need... and what you might be contributing to not getting it, if that…