So... if Ann Anastasi had the gunshot residue on her clothing and had texted with Struss, why has she not also been charged with conspiracy to commit murder and felony firearm use? And why has the daughter not been charged with conspiracy? Why more charges for the young man of color? Not that he doesn’t deserve to be…

Your second paragraph is particularly excellent advice. You should always tell the room how things are going to go.

For the love of all that is holy, look at the rest of the feedback. It does sound as if this woman only wanted to talk about the bad. In my ten years of experience as a professor, I have been evaluated by hundreds of students, and there is always good with the bad. The bad, as another commenter said, is so much harder…

Leftovers from the quinoa, cauliflower, and peas in a curried coconut milk sauce that I made last night.

Is he wearing a Freddie Krueger glove??

I agree with you that the level of gun violence in the US is unconscionable and is a main cause of this tragedy. That is the larger issue our country needs to - and for some reason, won’t - do something about. But, I do think motive is also important. If it turns out that this was something direct and personal…

That’s not a bad idea; unfortunately, I am not much of a nickname person in general. But if I do decide to finally tell her I don’t like it, I think I’ll try your idea. Thanks!

That’s a great goal! It breaks my heart that our system thinks so little of the work of the people teaching our children. Keep it up - you’ll get there, and you’ll be great!

I agree that there is more nuance to relationships than “if it’s right, it’s right,” but in my view a six-year difference when they are both in their 20s is not a big deal; in fact, your point about different life stages is really what matters (that is, you can be only 2 years apart but be in totally different places,…

Also: I didn’t finish my PhD until right before I turned 40. People who started after I did finished before I did, and most when they were still in their early 30s, if not still in their 20s. And you know what? So. fucking. what. I have a PhD! Who cares how old I was when I earned it? I EARNED it. And you will, too!

Yeah, that’s really the issue, isn’t it? It would probably break her heart. She’s very sensitive... I guess that’s why I’ve never said anything.

You can tell her that you’ll be there for her if/when she decides to make some changes. And you can tell her that you’re willing to listen to her vent from time to time. But her denial - well, that’s something you just can’t change. And if you feel overwhelmed by this subject, deflect to her therapist: “Wow. That…

If you play the comparison game (i.e. “I don’t yet have a BA at 26 and everybody else finished theirs at 22”) you will always lose. There will always be someone - even many someones - who have done more things than you. It doesn’t matter. Think of it this way: at 26, you potentially have another 70+ years of life! And…

I’ve learned through bitter experience that people are who they are - you can’t change them. Not that you’re trying to change this guy, but he’s showing you who he is. Is that someone you can see being with in the long term? I know it’s casual now, but a lot of people fall into the “I can change him” attitude, even if…

I’m sorry. That sounds horrible. I’m sorry for your loss and for the attendant trauma with your family. I hope this doesn’t sound hollow, but when I am nearly at the end of my rope it helps me to say “this too, in time, shall pass.” Yeah, doesn’t help much when the shit hasn’t passed yet, but it always does. Good luck.

Awwww, is everybody here too young to remember Rupert Holmes’ “Escape - The Pina Colada Song?”

Right?? Lifelong Chargers and Padres fan here. Yeah, you get used to the feeling of getting sand kicked in your face every season.

That’s tough. If you can, be straight with her the next time it comes up: “I’ve told you what I think about your situation and what I think you should do about it. Until something changes or you take some action, I’d rather not talk about it any more.” Or if that is too confrontational for you, just do your best to…

A box or two at a time is fine! Each box emptied is one less box left to empty. You’ll get there!

1. You don’t have to email her. If you are uncomfortable talking to her face to face about this, write her a card or a note and give it to her.