That's because Stephen has CHEMACTERILITY.

@ImAManImForty: I will now gouge my eye out with a fork. I mean ... can't I tell you about my latte and ride on the train instead ... I mean ... sigh. I feel unclean.

Wait, did Drew just say he masturbates to the Rodney King video?

Matt Mosley: What was it like being the NFL's last straight-ahead kicker. Wait, that's Mark Moesley. Who the hell are you?

@Weed Against Speed: Looks like they're going geographically and that there will be multiple posts on the subject covering all the major markets (hence the "Atlantic Division" portion at the end of the intro of that initial post). It was interesting stuff, to be sure. I'll be reading the follow-ups.

As a football fan in Vikings country, I miss the days when the rival team's coach had the bad mustache and clock management, not the home team.

The most shocking part is that a basketball player drives an SUV. You never see that.

Another date with Sebastian Janikowski ends badly.

You find Pedro Guerrero and you'll find O.J.

Isiah would prefer if the white people use "streetcar," but he's totally cool with the black people using "trolley."

@Weed Against Speed: Failing that, what about "Mariotti Points." Marriott points are half the reason to work for a newspaper.

Might I suggest, "The Riffs of Mariotti."

The big problem was losing Brady Quinn and the "11 Cuff Left-Right" play that was drawn up just for him.

Roberto Duran says "No mas."

Between periods entertainment: Scott Norwood on ice.

This explains why three-ways involving Isiah and Bill Laimbeer were always so awkward.

Can a Pants Party be Pants Optional? This will really influence any decisions forthcoming.

Sorry I made "Evan Almighty."

if e-mailing cellphone pics of your toast is enough to be a hall of famer, aren't we all hall of famers? right? wait, right?

He wasn't assistant general manager. He was assistant TO the general manager.