I thought it was an Ipecyrrhic victory.

I think Charmin Sandiego is a better name than The Mad Pooper.

Kinda long for a cookie joke.

Chili’s a hitting coach in Boston now, further contributing to a team with great names: Chili, Mookie, Xander, Hanley

Candy Maldonado.

A third of the NFL has roughly average lines. A third of the NFL has below average lines. A third of the NFL has above average lines. That’s how average (roughly) work.

They already scored more than 3 points against the Bills, I think the game is in hand, pull him out.

Easy, the 1985-1989 Dodge Lancer/Lebaron GTS, a sporty yet comfortable pair of mainstream mid-size 4-door hatchback sedans, a body style nearly every brand is still too chicken to sell in the US over three decades later.

Or just find a sport that isn’t 12 minutes of play surrounded by 2 hours of commercials.

They just had Garth freaking Brooks there for seven nights in a row! What more could your average Calgarian want??

Pony up, Warbucks. Social contract and all. If you don’t supply the appetizers, I’m taking Roberto Aguayo first and torpedoing this bitch.

Do you get the entry fees no matter who wins? Maybe pay for the wings.

Getting into the game is free but leaving will cost you $50.

Kristen Bell is awesome. She was awesome back during Veronica Mars and she’s awesome now.

They were so poor, they couldn’t even afford first names for the boys. Had to make do with initials.

Clowns don’t care about your all-caps rants about lowballers, while normal people will assume they’re gonna show up to a red-faced psycho who will yell at them.

police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

I think it is very amusing that a police department union (A FUCKING POLICE DEPARTMENT) is asking the NFL to investigate something.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

Look, this really isn’t that hard. There aren’t that many major markets in the US. If some asshole threatens to leave one if he doesn’t get his way, then just waive him goodbye.