I use mine as a substitute for self esteem!

Yeah, I started the video hoping it would be obnoxious and mock-worthy, but finished thinking “Damn, I wish I could do that.” A feeling coupled with the realization that all the working out LeBron does seems to work, and that the dude has basically never been seriously injured in his entire career. How are Steph’s…

“So what do you want for your birthday this year?”

Because it’s so fun to watch delicate snowflakes like you cry so much every time.

And imagine performing all of these great feats of athleticism with debilitating bone spurs.

If you spend too much time Stalin against Russia, they will go ahead and take the ball for an easy Putin.

Sure, Eckersley doesn’t know how rough it is on pitchers today. David Price has completed 16 of his 259 career starts, and Eckersley completed 17.

And no vax?

I’m trying to remember if TBS is that station where I’ve started watching a movie then given up because I curse that that’s the seventh commercial in a row, and they are showing more of them the farther into the movie you get.

When I got my coaching job at a large state school, I kept my personal cell phone. Everyone other coach in the department used their work cell as their personal cell, and I could never understand why. Do these people not understand that any Joe Schmo off the street can make a FOIA request? To everyone else, I was an…

Bjork followed that up tonight by telling reporters that Freeze was allowed to redact “personal calls” from the phone records before they were released.

My idiot friends and I wouldn’t have made it through an hour of this before going double agent on each other and driving away while the dunk dude is left alone in the driveway. We were sort of dicks. Also, none of us could dunk.

Stay white, and you’ll be alright.

Two obvious takes

This one is the funnier one

Now that the Yankees have two guys named Frazier, the lesser one should have to change their last name to Niles.

You’ve really got to stop trying to fuck Cousins like that.

Not just believable, Moose, but inevitable. It’s like the 1990s hip-hop wars all over again. I’m reluctant to speculate on who East Coast-Taylor’s most likely target is, but I suspect it will be someone who’s toned, tan, fit and ready; someone who’s about to turn it up ‘cause it’s gettin’ heavy; someone who might be…

Those ain’t no roadies. The haircuts plus the stubble-beard plus the fitness level plus the Under Armor polos = former soldiers. They are most def ex-military - now employed as “security contractors.” Which actually means mercenaries, which means that they are hefting a Pelican military-grade weapons chest. Which…

It’s pretty easy to defend the first point by conceding that Nadal is the god of clay and is simply immortal on that surface, and that Federer has a winning record against him on every other surface, and the head-to-head is skewed because Federer was good enough on his least favorite surface to make it to all those…