Then change the photo. I’d have sex with Kate Beckinsale under almost any circumstance I can think of, and many that I have not.

2 La Liga teams

All I have to say is that basketball has always been this. It’s a flaw of the sport, not particular circumstances. You only have five players. It only takes one wunderkind to turn a team from mediocre to completely dominant. It’s why the NBA has such a problem with tanking at the end of a season.

Parity sucks. The 80s and 90s were full of great teams and then the greedy owners sold fans on the mythical “small market”. (There is no such thing as a small market team.) They got the fans to angrily hate teams that payed players what they were worth, by lying about what they could afford to spend in order to…

Ugh, of course he was on the cover of Cigar Aficionado, the official publication of rich twats...  

The State Attorney’s Office continued, “even if we were to obtain a conviction on all the charges, it is unlikely that the Jugde would sentence Mr. Brantley to any significant jail time based upon his current employment status. While Florida has some of the most overcrowded and hostile prisons in the nation, nothing…

“Well, that’s why these are contracts. If it really mattered to the players, they’d do something about it with the CBA, so I have no sympathy.”

I bet if they were the Golden Gophims they’d be seeded.

You should have decked him in the face and then told him he was fucking -2 front teeth.

Hey, people without kids! Smash that star, it’s good. +1

Matin Kratt: “What if we could mate with sharks in the wild?”

I dunno, I think it goes to Kawhi. I mean, he outplayed Harden in the elimination game and he didn’t even play.

Oh sweet summer child, we already have hockey, skiing, and golf for that.

These are the worst John Lennon parody lyrics ever.

“He wants to be Derek Jeter”

Remember Teva? I’m a white suburban dad. I wear them. At least when I’m not wearing my Birkenstocks.

Remember Teva? I’m a white suburban dad. I wear them. At least when I’m not wearing my Birkenstocks.

They hit so hard, they created a ref from the collision

Yeah, you’ve pretty much had a bunch of black athletes and non-Bostonians talk about how Boston is the most racist shitbag sports town ever, and Bostonians are all “Nobahdy from Bawhston would evah say anything racist evah. Because we’re thah best town in thah world. Nevah happend, just like Tawhmmy nevah knew nothin…

Curt, just because you weren’t personally there, doesn’t mean there wasn’t someone screaming racist things.