I’ve gotten so confused about where it’s permissible to pee. I keep urinating on Greg Abbott’s lawn, but judging by his reaction that’s not what he wanted. I only hope he’s not upset when he finds out where I’ve taken a shit.

Why the uproar now?

The saddest part about the MLB is that they’ll regurgitate literal trash. Let’s face it Weaver is done and has been done. Coming from a once MiLB pitcher. There are monster arms down here. Don’t let the MLB fool you. They’d rather keep an old fart around than bring a young guy up and lose their rookie year and…

Oh, it was fun at the time.

Feaster is still employed by the school but will no longer be coaching the football team

Jack off to German Shit porn?

NJ.com also noted that there is “no mention of whether the teams in the St. John’s team’s division - the JV black league - can or cannot be co-ed, though other divisions are mentioned as strictly boys or girls teams.”

As an English major, I’m very sad to see Joyce be so uncaring about the dead.

smells like poetry to me

you cannot guard a man who exists in the silvery slipspace between the waking world and the dream world

For a guy without a working finger, he seems easily triggered.

*severely fucks up the part of my body my living is dependent on with a toy for children* im the most scientific mothrefucker out here libs

It’s simple: if a player is a domestic amateur, they’re dropped into a lottery pool that includes all of the clubs except LA. LA has the opportunity to use their Free Player Card at any time unless another club uses their Gimme That Dude option. BUT if the commissioner decides to spin the Wheel of Decisions, all of…

DENMAKR is a dating app that describes itself as being “for Bob Villa types.”

A cab driver almost hit me on my bike two years ago when I had to swerve to avoid a pedestrian who stepped into the bike lane on Bleecker. He also honked his horn. The press never reported anything about it.

Right. As sick as that shot was, and it was sick, Love showed more competent quarterbacking there than anyone who’s ever played for the Browns.

I would be doing the same if I was that close to 1986 Val Kilmer.

Only 200 yards short of the prophecy. Ppl forget that.

Shaq talks like he ate a piece of Ben Carson.

It’s been able to be kept quiet because Baylor is a private school that is also located in a relatively small and remote place where the local authorities give it all the deference it could ever want. It’s a perfect storm of privacy from within, locale, money, and protection from those public officials (cops,…