He looks just like Albert Bell after eating Kenny Lofton.

What exactly is unfair about any of the follow-up stories you cite? The Jezebel article points out the irony in painting Te'o as a victim when it has a history of not protecting non-athlete students. The story about his teammates came from another publication who spoke to the anonymous player. The article about…

It doesn't look like they did. I ran this search:

Grade inflation is out of control.

This stuff isn't stolen. People have the option to check their bag rather than abandoning their property. Why blame the TSA because someone thinks it's OK to carry a butcher's knife onto a plane?

Most shocking part of this story?

I feel like the Funbag has taken a sudden dark turn.

"Governor Romney. Is it true that you're going to take us back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, …

"So I took off my shoe and threw it at the fucker but spider crickets possess RG3's escapability."

You're having a hard time getting money from the #phillies? If you think that's bad, just try getting refunds from the %mets, *!^yankees, or the &@!reds.

Whiskey enthusiast JaVale.

Women binders?

JaVale, yo.

I don't blame him. I just mistook that picture of Brandon Weedon for Cameron from Ferris Bueller.

The Playbook of Mournin'

Bobby Valentine's spirit animal? The L-ocelot.

Dangling Modifier is also the nickname of the plastic surgeon who fixed Chris Berman's jowls.

Well done.

"our generation has no idea what they ate"

This Depressing, Discarded Mound Of Plastic Terps Is the 2011 Maryland Football Team.