Why wait? http://xkcd.com/150/

Oh that's easy - because it's the Lord's Day and those heathen waitstaff shouldn't be working on it. Even though they wouldn't be able to be eating in a restaurant if that were so.

I hope that in a fit of pique over supposed mistreatment, she has her will rewritten from whoever it is now to give everything to Dora as a giant "screw you, my colored nurse deserves it more than you" statement and then drops dead right after it's been appropriately notarized and before she can change it back. Drops…

Avoid pears and dried shiitake mushrooms, then. They contain lots of natural formaldehyde.

Sounds like a Chipotle.

Yup. I don't believe in ghosts. I can tell myself the other stories are hallucinations or weird dreams or coincidences or chemical-induced dreams or whatever and go happily through my day. I know humans can be monsters, though.

Yup. "Look At Me" wins. Ugh!

And I'm out.

The last "giving zero fucks" one is fabulous.

I thought it was bad when a colleague's brother was told by his workplace to stay home for 21 days after returning from his trip to Ethiopia and South Africa.

I lived in a two-flat apartment building, with exterior stairwell doors and separate interior doors for each apartment. My downstairs neighbor locked himself out (forgetting his keys in his apartment) but fortunately ran into me on the way out. I asked him if he'd stashed a copy of his apartment key somewhere. He…

The jump may be less jarring in the new series, perhaps, but I assure you that's not the case with the original ones. I'm in favor of it.

I've found that similar thoughts along the lines of "it must not be easy to be the kind of person who blows their top over such an insignificant issue, what kind of life is it to go through such stress" is actually helpful. A little smug, maybe, but hey, if it helps resolve the situation faster without transferring…

I tipped a lot from our last delivery place (prior to moving out of their range) precisely because we did live so close; I felt seriously lazy not going to pick it up.

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's the other way around - murderous people go into fields where you have opportunities to kill people.

Some Buddhists will eat vegan food much of the time or at certain times of the year. Since it was a Japanese restaurant doing this, I suspect its customer base is an overlap of vegans for other reasons, Buddhists and/or Japanese people, and idiots like the woman in the original story.

Hearing people try to talk others into having kids terrifies me. I've never really wanted kids and the way a sister-in-law tried to harangue us into having kids made me suspect it was a "misery loves company" situation.

Yup. My husband and I are childless by choice and now in our 40s; when we married he sort of maybe wanted a kid but knew my feelings (realized in my early teens that I didn't want kids), and just asked me to be open-minded to possibly changing my mind. He's the one who changed, to not wanting them either.

Your dachshund might not have wanted you to see him pass; he might have held on until you left.

That's another thing, too - everyone has a different timeline on when they're ready. For my husband and I, it was two weeks, and we knew right away we made the right choice, and still think so nearly five years later. That's not right for most people, though.