Well, the joke is that it's clearly been Photoshopped. Also I didn't want to spend too much time on it; I have other interests. :)

And another.

Ah, may I guess if Sam Elliot in Lebowski was your reference? :)

Let the games begin.

If you eliminate the middle-man and hook up some electrodes directly from the battery to that kid's tuchis, he'd move hundreds of times faster and cover a far greater distance.

She's doing a bad Sarah Silverman a la her "I love Chinks" controversy.

What's the oldest gadget I use? Charcoal? Wood? I dunno. Stone? Still use my fingernails. Just had a great primate moment a few weeks ago when my stupid ass remembered that pouring water on my sun-baked motorcycle seat would cool it off. So maybe water is the oldest gadget I use?

I work at a Radio Shack, so you can trust me when I tell you how important it is to buy a lithium battery for your garage door opener. Sure, you can save $8 and go with a basic alkaline, but you're just not going to get the same performance or signal quality out of the device.

Yes, they help to establish the fun, wacky tone of the video.

Has anybody noticed a severe drop-off in T-Mobile's service coverage? When I signed up for T-Mobile in 2008, they told me I was in the super-dark-green area of their 3G phone coverage. But in my home, with no neighbors above me or below me, my coverage has always been crap. 2 bars maximum for phone calls and 3G…

Yeah, I figured punch cards (learned a little about them in 4th grade) but I was fantasizing more about trying to figure out how to turn on the machine and and which buttons you'd have to press just to get it ready to eat those punchcards. Did you see any of that Incredible Machines video linked in the article? It…

According to my Google research, this is the IBM7094. I've been amused for several minutes, trying to imagine how to work the bloody thing. No keyboard, no mouse, no intuitive-looking doohickers, motion detectors...

Sounds like the multi-color illuminated trackball on the HTC Nexus One. Patent war! Patent war!

What about Ibogaine? Science hasn't made any progress figuring out how to use that anecdotal cure yet? Or maybe it's the red tape?

He's like a black Danzig, minus the fishnet shirt!

The defense would like to introduce as exhibit Defense 5, the concept of pareidolia.

Join the Navy and work on a million nuclear submarine.

Gaaah! You're right. I've gotta think about universal precautions.

You might have nailed it! I do like the heft and the aesthetic of a chainsaw, though. Maybe a sloooow chainsaw with dull teeth.

I prefer a tool that cuts slowly through zombie flesh, as I plan to savor the experience. I've got pretty good cardio, so keeping ahead of zombies isn't a problem. I think I'd want a tool that can keep a few rashers of bacon in the handle, because what goes better with the ubiquitous zombie than the ubiquitous bacon?