HEAD COACH: Alright, let’s draw up the punt return play - who do you need out there?

Polish American Football League isn’t exactly the sport played at its highest level,

Actually, Drew, there’s no demonstrable evidence that Goodell is a “shit-eating moron”. At most, you could make the claim that it is “more probable than not” that he...

My favorite part is how so much of the media just plays along with the narrative Goodell wants. Goodell is “tough” on those who “disrespect the integrity of the game,” rather than a grandiose figurehead who dishes out punishments arbitrarily in whatever way he thinks will best satisfy the majority of the public.

You could have just stopped reading Bill Simmons, continued smoking pot, and everything in your life would have been perfect.

“Here’s hoping the Clippers finish them off early in Game 5, because the playoffs deserve better.”

Kolton. You had me then you lost me.

Thompson and Simmons were fellow Page 2 columnists for the first few years BS was at ESPN.

“Okay, I guess.” -the Clippers, Rockets, Cavs, Warriors, Wizards, Hawks and Bulls, representing 7 of 8 second-round teams, all of whom shoot a lot of 3s and none of whom are down more than one game in their respective series.

It was a great reminder, as if the Love/Olynyk play wasn’t enough, that there is no hope for Cleveland. Ever. A guy who can’t shoot banking in an off-balance 30 footer? Why not, because it’s not like Jordan was enough or anything.

His buddy, House, is a really big Wizards fan, of course. Also he eats, like a lot. So that’s House. And just FYI, his other buddy, Johnny, likes the Yankees. I know, I can’t even believe it.

John Wall toughs the injury out, tries to play through pain for his team, gets more severe injury, and misses playoffs. Much to the chagrin of Wizards fans.

im kind of confused. what does this have to do with bill simmons

Who wants a smugstache ride?

To be fair, those are his “readers.”

It’s only fitting his dismissal was kept to 140 characters.

As a Saved by the Bell purist she only says it twice, but I respect the sentiment.