Since the all-star break, he's putting up 34/11/11. Which are, like, borderline NBA2K on rookie mode numbers.

He's gotta get dinged a LITTLE for giving up 31/7/6 on 10/16 shooting and 8/13 from three to a glorified D leaguer, though.

He also kind of got lit up by Isaiah Canaan, which is apparently the name of the Sixers starting point guard.

Battier was going to perform, "I Won't Back Down," but as soon as he made contact with the microphone, he flailed backwards onto the ground out of habit.

Is it not normal to have a perfectly quaffed jewfro over your junk?

But how else will I know what Yahoo Sports was already reporting two hours ago?

I'm glad they didn't call it, but that was only about 1826th on the list of most egregious flops this season.

Never, ever read the comments on ESPN articles. It's bad for your mental health.

Not enough people are going to recognize how fucking brilliant this comment is, herceptin the cases of a select few.

I felt serious, genuine anxiety watching this.

I will face any consequences coming.

You're never going to convince a large portion of the population that anything south of Roosevelt isn't a godless wasteland, and they're going to do their best to fit reality into that narrative.

I had a friend in sixth grade who was right about 5'11", 170 lb. The end result was decided not professional athlete. Closer to "Guy you really hope isn't sitting next to you on an airplane."

"Jon Stewart Should Run For Office!"

"Never played the game" is the absolute stupidest logical fallacy made in sports.

Yep.

A lot concern for the 12 year olds Deadspin was rooting for. Less concern, apparently, for the 12 year olds from surrounding leagues and from Las Vegas who got fucked over in the process.

The funny thing is, the Pistons always get shit for being the one sports team NOT in Detroit, and yet they're the only ones who HAVEN'T fucked over the taxpayers of Detroit or any other city - their previous owner paid for the stadium with his own damn money.

I have a hard time thinking of a more annoying pairing than Jenny McCarthy and Chris Hardwick.