You are being super obnoxious. Why can't you guys just have different opinions about who is best color commentator without insinuating that the other guy is only disagreeing because he's a misogynist or something? You don't know ANYTHING about the person you're offhandedly calling a bigot.

I have a friend that insists on Washington Apples. It used to be because he liked them but now it's because he knows I hate them.

Worst. Jamboroo. Ever.

This one time, I had to go to the bathroom, so I found a bathroom and I went. Because I'm an adult.

"If it can stop a bullet, it can stop a fire."

machine guns are the best answer.

Life is all tradeoffs.

I enjoy the implication that if you don't like Kanye or consider him a genius then it's obviously because he's black...not because he's an egotistical asshole who makes music that not everybody likes

They have a 4.3 liter V6, a 5.3 liter V8 and a 6.2 liter V8.

Relevant - Sherman in a white dress shirt and silver sequined bowtie interviewing fans on the street who hate Richard Sherman but don't know it's him:

Nine-speed manual. With four clutches, all of which are operated by your face.

Hahaha — so true. Excellent post.

So long as you stay on the furniture and don't touch the lava you'll be fine.

Dealers protect the consumers you say? Oh really?

Mwahahahaha. You may be the only person who's ever uttered that line.

Amy K Nelson. Only a handful of people who can verbally bitch slap Skip Bayless on live tv. Man I miss the Cold Pizza days.

and the divorce will be spectacular

Only cheap twats get their panties in a twist over a cash bar. As long as there's a bar, that's all that's needed. My cousin (Catholic) married some dude whose family is one off those weird-ass evangelical Protestant denominations that eschew alcohol. His family wanted a dry wedding.

Ammendment: If it is a cash bar, punch the groom in the face, take back your gift, and go home. Nobody would blame you.