When I get pregnant, I'm going to name my baby Jon Kyl! #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStateme...

One of my little brothers was so pretty?/effeminate? that he constantly got the "She's sooooo cute!" despite his blue/green outfits. I apologize on my mother's behalf—she only said Mike so angrily because it happened so often.

I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad roommate last year. One afternoon while I was studying at my desk, she plopped on the couch and asked if I minded having the tv on. I did, but I didn't want to be rude so I was like no problem! She then started clipping her toe nails on the coffee table. Yeah, I minded…

I have three brothers, so our comparisons were less physical and more "He's the academic one, you're the social one!" etc etc. Which is also obnoxious.

Don't forget—there was that article about how to dress if you're a teacher! As a future teacher, I really appreciated the neutrality of that article.

My dad used to date a woman who owned horses. I used to ride them to relieve cramps.

My boyfriend and I are long distance so I usually send him a text saying "unsolicited uterus update: not pregnant!"

"If a woman — any woman — wakes up in Hawaii and says to herself, "Tonight I will get leid," the prediction will always come true every time. Such is the power of female choice."

In my experience, if we're serving a sit-down dinner in a banquet, we try to serve women first, oldest to youngest, than same with men. In the restaurant, you start with seat 1 and work your way around the table. All the food comes out at once, but it's a subtle nod of respect to women and elders to serve them first.

Wait, if it's on your abdomen, how are you going to be able to see it? Stand in front of a mirror?

Aw! I'm glad you know what I'm talking about :) I can't stand how cute they are!

It's simple math, when you consider the squee factor:

Consider yourself warned: if you don't vote for tabbys, expect to find a Tigerlily in your closet.

Amy Tan and PBS sold me to Team Siamese.

Amy Tan sold me to team Siamese.

I'll see your closed beer can photo and raise you a photo of me as a toddler, sitting in my dad's lap and gumming an empty bottle of beer.

As someone who regularly threw up the first couple days each pack of new pills and threw up if I had to double-up on pills, I was pleasantly surprised to have no side effects from emergency contraception.

Excellent post! My "Standardization Is a Joke Story" comes to you from H&M. I have a pair of black size 8 slacks that I wear in the summer when I'm at my trimmest, and a pair of black size 6 slacks I wear in the winter, when I tend to weigh 5-10 pounds more. I call SHENANIGANS, H&M. How can you be that unstandardized…

I must've seen the title half a dozen times on the sidebar and each time read it as "Elle's Curious Fixation With Actresses Holdings Limbs" and got more and more excited about reading the article until I saw the photo spread and was terribly confused. Now I'm just aw-snaps disappointed.

Dude, Maggie Simpson STILL uses a pacifier and she's in her twenties. It's gonna be okay.