Ugh Joe Jonas is so skeezy. They were the purity ring guys! I guess that didn't work out.

Let's be real: I can pretend I won't watch 50 Shades, but I will totally end up getting it on netflix and heckling the shit out of it with the help of my girl friends and a box of wine.

I find him adorable.

There are only two words to describe Tom Hiddleston.

I always say his paws smell like Fritos!

My dog won't even look at me while I'm giving her a bath. She turns away and puts her head down. "WOE! WOE IS ME! I AM BETRAYED!!!"

Man, I wish my dogs loved bathtime like this. They just tremble and stare at me with big eyes like I'm drowning them the entire time.

It's really true. I put up with a lot of shit when I was younger, that I would never tolerate now. I wish I'd known then how much better life is when you stand up for yourself and demand to be treated like a worthy human being.

My salty essence and genetic code is a gift from my father, and his father, and his father, and on it goes.

Yep. She's the beigeiest beige that ever beiged and yet somehow keeps getting written up as a style icon. It's like, just 'cause you say it enough times it ain't gonna get true, honey.

I suppose I wouldn't find fashion's obsession with her so annoying if it wasn't for the fact that I feel like she hasn't acted in anything in 3 years, yet she gets far more attention from publications like Vogue than do more deserving actresses who are actually, you know, working.

I find this, as all things with Kate Bosworth to be...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nope, not good. Death is the end of suffering. He was a monster and deserved to suffer in prison for a long, long, long time.

He couldn't last a few months when his victims endured years. Coward til the end. Kick rocks, Ariel.

The only HR works she's done has been pro bono. The vast majority of lawyers on the planet can claim some pro bono human rights work; that does not make us human rights lawyers. That term has meaning, namely, that you make your living/spend the overwhelming majority of your professional effort on human rights law. …

So she's a corporate lawyer of some kind that at one point did a little human rights work? That's like me telling people I'm a firefighter because I put a lid on my pan of bacon that caught on fire.

What culpability would that poor, innocent, nearly-middle-aged husband and father even HAVE? Going up against that dirty slutty tramp would be too much for ANY man.

Now if only he'd hire me...

Neko Case is generally awesome. This is one of those times, IMO.

Ah. Thanks. This keeps getting conveniently left out...