Marchman and the deadspin staff workshopped the names, and then I did my thing on the logos.

“Marry me. [fart]”

Have you ever seen Snowden and Scissorhands in the same place tho.

Peyton should be kept in cryogenic storage until the post-season, but the important part is that when he’s thawed out, no one is allowed to tell him it’s the post-season. He must think he’s playing regular season games.

I got nothing. So here, have a stupid meme.

I do have access to God’s “To-Care” list, in fact. Sporting event outcomes are not on it. I’ll let you and all the Cardinals fans know if it gets updated.

That’s where the similarities stopped.

Bishop Sankey Dumpoff Option

At least she isn’t allowed to vote.

Oh fuck you Connecticut

I drive thru down town Baltimore every morning on my way to work. I’ll take South Korea any day.

weren’t the beautiful, wealthy couple more than just nice-experience having luckies? they were essential actors: at best pretending to be a cheerleader is a bit weird, but mostly it just looks too much like they’re trying to fool people. Maybe: ‘...Sports Franchise lends floodlights to Pentagon for some hero-theatre…

but then he’s actually alive inside the casket, and jumps out and gives them a “Gotcha!” finger-point, right? RIGHT?????

Maybe if the family couldn’t afford to fly over and see him in his non-combat year-long assignment I could muster up some care.

I’ve always had a fantasy where they bring out the family and kids, and when they say turn around or Let’s welcome home Corporal Marine Todd, the family turns around overjoyed and then they wheel out a casket with the flag draped over it.

The degree to which the NFL continuously insults the public’s intelligence is maddening. Can we please just accept all of the horseshit hypocrisy, dispense with the horseshit ritualistic pomp and circumstance, and watch fucking football?!

Yeah, those sites probably went with the right headlines.