If I had a time machine and went back in time, I would talk with John Rockefeller, possibly the wealthiest man in history. I would tell him that I could travel to China in a half a day. That I could talk to any person on the planet and hear not only his voice, but also see his face, in real time from anywhere. All…

“I also see sound and hear colors.” #NanoBubbles

Follow up questions:
“Which one of you is dip and which is shit?”
“Are you on that molly? Do you know Wes Welker personally?”
“Your glasses....Fuck you.”
“Diplo, your shittiness managed to make MIA look like a decent human being by comparison...”
“Skrill person, you’re horrible.”

*Douche blackhole opens up and consumes the…

Boy, you really pissed off JJ Watt.

This guy is like the 3rd smartest Texans fan in the world.

The Texans are so boring even the comments section jumped ship to another team.

Congratulations on getting out! It’s beautiful, and, if I recall correctly, boring as fuck. (Eagles training camp attendee for many years.)

And how lame is that name? The Houston Texans? What’s next, the Cleveland Ohioans? The Baltimore Marylanders? The Chicago Illinoisians? The Buffalo New Yorkers? The New York New Yorkers? The Miami Floridians? The Seattle Washingtonians? The Washington D.C.ers? The Denver Coloradans? The Dallas Texans? The Green Bay…

Im 99% sure this was “heavily influenced” by a Cracked article. ESPECIALLY Sid...

Brutaler.

There is a prize. And here’s what you’ve won.

This story really has become... Cumbersome

Huh. Our pool cover is a forest green, but we never noticed how poorly it blends with the snow, because of how we can’t see it. Under the snow.

I really hope he got his sweater.

I don’t like where this is going.

Not unless you were an English major, which based on the fact that you have a salaried career, I assume you were not.

Chicago fans say “Bear Winter” as if they are unaware that bears hibernate through the winter. They are accidentally describing their team perfectly.

I own this shirt. It’s not just a catch phrase, it’s a way of life.