Geez, Kobe really made the Lakers take it up the ass on this one...

"Yeah, but, he has to pay half that in taxes!"

Probably because you didn't have maps. It is even worse in the Iraq

[goes online]

A Schiano Man only takes orders from 3 things: his stomach, his cock, and Bill Belichick.

It would've been better if he lit himself on fire

The proposal was very traditional, Kanye got down on one knee and Kim got down on two.

AT&T Park officials waived the rent fee in exchange for Kim grazing the field.

A Schiano Man would eventually relent and allow the kids in, but only after hollering, "This wouldn't have happened if your moms had swallowed," turning practice over to an assistant, and spending the next hour and a half in the bathroom, kicking the stall door.

This bro's friend in the Chad Pennington jersey was only able to connect on three short punches, the fourth caused his shoulder to dislocate.

And apparently for the NFL to drop 4th quarters from the game.

:....and then the catcher hit in into the other team's endzone!" - Phoenix crowd later, explaining the play to their friends.

Errrrrr! Puppy in the ROAD!

That looks like the saddest rock show I've ever seen. I'm sure it looked a lot less like the stage area at a Chuck E Cheese in person.

When reached for comment, Adam Wainwright called the attacks "Mickey Mouse stuff."

I don't see the virgin mary. Sorry.

"Seems about right."

A Schiano Man doesn't sleep because sleep is the cousin of death, who is a faggot.

Following the show, AMC viewers were welcomed to stick around for Dany Heatley's biography, better known as Hell on Wheels.