I want to wear the “Full Docs or GTFO” shirt to my next medical appointment.

“Oh, you are a P.A.?” *points to shirt*

Tony has no room to talk after all the slurs he’s directed at police officers.

Nigel just had an interesting idea. Why didn’t you ladies think of that?

As a man, I have a great idea.
If women would like to be heard more in the workplace, when one woman makes a point, the other women in the room should reiterate the idea and credit the initial speaker.

Someone’s mad that he never got a giraffe as a birthday jift.

Colin Kapernick should stick to *watches recent game film* uh actually politics and social media

Yeah, it is. China is only about 30 feet away if you dig down but stupid suckers pay tons of money to fly there.

I was thinking the white way — but I like yours more.

Watched the whole thing, wondering who might be in the depths of hell, and found out it was none of the people I was expecting.

I said the same thing. My ex-wife disagreed.

I don’t speak Spanish too well. … I think it was a Cuban person, frustrated about the politics of it, I guess. He threw two beer cans. Nobody got hit. Nobody did anything. Maybe some guys got wet. It was a Cuba thing.

When beating Duke, celebration krzyld be kept to a minimum.

Kid better watch out. Next time he’s up the tee will be inside the batter’s box.

Hotels don’t verify. If you ask to be next to someone they accommodate if they can.

Brief, analytical and informational. Man can you and Draper take over the Screamer beat?

exactly. i’m actually workshopping some more jokes about the United States Congress which we hate and despise. keep an eye out

Candy is now going to tell a new story about the nice lesbian couple they met in New Hampshire, and how she and Ben managed to help you see the error of your ways by taking you out for ice cream and a long chat.

I watched a promo for Carol. Thought it was all fun and games. Just a little commercial before I got back to a 2 and a half men rerun. No big deal. JUST a movie.

Bayes theorem says that when you get evidence about something, you need to adjust your beliefs based on the weight of the evidence compared with the prior probability you had for the thing. So we start out assuming that overtime is a 50/50 shot, because it starts with a coinflip, and so we assume it has the same odds.…

That must be the most infuriated she’s been in all her 4 years as a Seahawks fan.