Wait, I thought “...of the Target Mossimos” was incorporated into the G/O style guide by now.

Probably.

“Darling,  Did your human heart fail today?  I heard on the media broadcast that your heart may have ceased to function as you were at the medical facility.  I, a human woman from Earth, would be very sad if you ceased to function”

Does anyone else think that maybe he tells stories the way he does with quoting conversations so that he can remind us that people call him sir and convince us that Melania calls him darling? He so badly wants everyone to believe that he is worthy of respect and admiration that he will take any opportunity to make…

aw man so normal for your wife to not know if you had a heart attack or not and ask you about it after the fact. So chill and relatable and totally how a normal human beings would act/def happened. Like jesus christ he can’t even lie well

The absence of the news coverage you want does not mean that the Jezebel staff are too stupid to realize they should be doing impeachment coverage. I’m sure they’d love to do a ton of coverage. I’m willing to bet they had a plan on how to do impeachment coverage in partnership with Splinter, in the event that…

But if you say it in a southern accent, ANYTHING can be turned into folk wisdom. “You can put boots in the oven, but that don’t make ‘em biscuits!” Try it!

Off topic, but I read that book on everyone everywhere’s recommendation and it... also felt kinda victim blamey at times? It was the bit where he was going on about “why would women run with headphones!” that eventually bummed me out, and that was on top of a bunch of other late 90s advice like never be drunk and…

gay-bashing? it was so unequivocally gay, with 2 (or 3, we don’t know her life) queer characters! the joke was never that he was gay! i found it was great representation for us depressed queers who are way too much online

I’m beyond sick of rich people excusing their poor behavior and in fact calling their despicable actions “in fact honorable” with expecting the rubes to believe it hook, line and sinker.

“I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that’s just the way it is.”

Oh no there were even better moments. Courtesy of the Guardian:

I was following the interview via the BBC live blog and the amount of astonishing moments was just difficult to even comprehend at a certain point.

Meghan is an American, Jeffrey Epstein is an American.

Watch the British tabloids make this Meghan’s fault.

I can’t believe you missed out on the w o r s t excuse on his list: “It wasn’t me because she said I was sweaty and I have/had a disease that prevents me from sweating at all” (paraphrasing here, the actual clip is even worse).

The relationship was never going to last, and that just seemed like the least awkward way to break it off.

I have been dogless for 48 hours now (she was old and she let me know her time had come) and it’s bittersweet to see all the good dogs out there. Yours has a particularly good tail.

This whole thing was a classic example of peak white feminism (TM)

Nothing says fighting the patriarchy like calling a random young woman a “fucking bitch” amirite ladies