Actually (and I’m embarrassed that I remember this, so no need to shame me), the poncho picture is from Stewart leaving prison and the poncho was crocheted for her by a fellow inmate, so wearing it out of the jail was kind of a solidarity moment?

It’s akin to saying, assuming you’re American, ‘How can I remember something that happened in 2001?”

If anyone is interested in seeing some secret videos of me in my kitchen eating corn, talking about corn and talking to corn, I've uploaded them to corn hub. Check them out before they get taken down.

I feel like it might be a symptom of being an asshole.

Yeah, when one half of a split is silent and the other is out there talking trash about them and taking effort to show off their new partner and how great they are, I usually assume the noisy half is the asshole. She’s giving me severe ‘show my ex how wrong they were’ vibes right now.

But the clothes all have 24 hours surveillance, which you can look at via an iPad, specifically done for his outfits, and they have all been cryogenically frozen in time to preserve them.

every morning I get up and eat a plate of delicious men’s brains

“I always thought I had to be gay because all guys are evil but that’s not true”

Starred for *Name not changed because fuck her.

I’ve...had this friend? I’m so embarrassed now that we were ever “friends.”

I bet Leto makes out with it when he’s alone.

I love watching terrible movies on long flights—like, when I’m home, am I gonna watch Aquaman? No, the hell I am not. But when it’s 3:37 am and I’m 4 hours into a 7 hour flight and everyone around me is sleeping? Bring on Aquaman! I need something to dull my mind and the pain of flying and I’m not downloading that…

LOL children, you missed flying before internet.

No, I understand the full context of the term. It is impossible to overestimate my propensity for being clandestinely childish. 

And, yes—bicycling was said to make women sexually aggressive. Part of that was the physicality of bike riding and the fact that the seat was making close contact with the pelvis.

And what did Parker Posie ever do to deserve having this troll co-opt her good name?

“Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull (better known as her pseudonym Posie Parker”

Looks like she’s peeing in that photo

“And in 2017 Texas cops searched a woman’s vagina, inserting fingers into it, for 11 minutes and found nothing”