I started by raging against the idea of my inevitable failure ("No! I WILL attend the European School of Luxembourg in 1993! I remember Bjork from when the 'Motorcrash' video debuted on '120 Minutes'!") But then I got to "Have a sister named Elisabeth van Lawick van Pabst-Koch," and I had to admit to myself that…

So now hipsters will have to smoke it ironically?

I am looking for a decent girl that wants

Unsecured firearms can be pretty dangerous. Driving while intoxicated? That's pretty darn dangerous as well. Watching a sitcom and not pondering its effect on normative behavior? I'll take my chances.

I had the same problem, and yes — it gets a lot better.

Is there a part of Counter-Strike where you can fly planes into buildings? Was there a hostage or bomb situation handled by an armed tactical team on 9/11? Then I really don't see the problem here.

My wife decided that after 40, she was allowed to wear all the leopard print she wants. Betsey Johnson dresses/shoes/bags are staples. My second grader somehow latched on to that and she wears leopard print flats to school almost every day.

/searches page for "Kindle"

"Purportedly famous," says the blog reporting on her arrest. Getting so one can't distinguish between hipster irony and a complete lack of introspection any more.

Catholics are probably obligated to at least fein sadness at his suicide. Some adherents of some eastern religions as well. Everyone else? Well, I find the appeals to "humanity" amusing since nothing could be more human than to celebebrate this death. It's a release that helps reinforce normative behavior. So to the…

I would totally fuck Umbridge. Might improve her mood.

Will has a point. Children of single mothers have a chance of growing up and getting elected president as a Democrat. That obviously cannot be allowed.

If you're going to use the book as a prop, use L'Étranger instead and get double the Intellectualism Points.

I bought a six pack of this and a six pack of Red Bridge for the missus a little over a month ago. I just checked the refrigerator and all of the Red Bridges are still there, but none of these. Take that as you will.

I think there was an article a few months back about "attention whores" and there was considerable discussion as to whether or not the term could be applied to men.

For purely karmic reasons, I'll now think about Katy Perry during sex.

How old are we?

It's a PhD in Flavornomics.

"There was just no evidence that it went down that way." — and you've homed in on the problem with the Stand Your Ground law. The person left standing automatically wins if there were no witnesses, regardless of the truth.