My go-to:

My go-to:

Honey, that’s a stripper sized heel and you know it. Nobody in a professional office shows up in 4 inch platform heels at work.

Honey, that’s a stripper sized heel and you know it. Nobody in a professional office shows up in 4 inch platform…

How about something in a shorter heel people. Wearing 3 inch heels all day kills me.

How about something in a shorter heel people. Wearing 3 inch heels all day kills me.

When my husband and I were first married, we were going through a security checkpoint and the guard said to my husband, “Sir! It’s great that you brought your daughter!” I'm actually older than my husband (only by 6 months) so I found it particularly hilarious.

That might have been my husband, who was annoyingly blessed with the gift of eternal youth. When we were 19 (me) and 21 (him) our doorman for the summer was shocked to learn we were dating and said “I thought he was your little brother or something, he looks like a teenager!” I don't think it spoke well for either of…

Becoming even a cop of the lowest rank requires three years of training and the equivalent of an associate’s degree in my country. Consequently, American cops kill 38 times the amount of citizens per capita each year than our cops do.

I personally would rather be weird than my child be dead. I also don’t let my kid ride in a back seat that only has a lap seat belt. I really don’t care what I look like as long as my kid is as safe as I can deem him to be.

My kid, my rules. I ask if there are guns, and if so, we invite their kid to play somewhere else (like at our house, etc.). In some circumstances, if I’m confident that the guns are locked separately from ammunition in a safe, and the keys stored somewhere there is no chance of kids getting their hands on them, then…

And of course (a big part of) the problem is that we have too many guns to begin with, and we really do need to talk about taking away people’s guns. There are over 300 million guns, that’s one for every man, woman, and child in this country. We do not need so many guns, and we need to actively work to reduce their…

I can’t access the WSJ article, but HuffPo published the complaint that was filed on Wednesday (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lawsuit-…) and the parents are definitely asking for monetary damages, not an injunction or a dec judgment.

Shoutout to all my lawyer Jezzies. For us (at least for litigators) we sort of have ethical standards about what to wear. Lawyers have to disappear in court — it’s all about the client’s needs. You have to be effectively communicating and advocating for the client. If someone is noticing your clothing instead of your…

Shit like this is why people make fun of Jezebel.

It would explain being with Chris Martin. He’s like the tofu of men.

12. Why are they using paper/plastic plates?

Very useful—especially if you have to go up against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!

People need to stop taking dietary and health advice from people like Gwenyth Paltrow.

“We give each other compliments. He’ll say, “You look beautiful,” or “That looks great.” Or I’ll say, “I don’t know about this outfit,” and he’ll say, “No let’s change that.” And I’ll absolutely say to him, “You know what? No T-shirts.” [Laughs]

i never said I don’t think that’s what people should do. Of course that is ideal. We aren’t taking about best practices for sex, we are talking about what is and isn’t rape/assault. All I was saying is that saying something hurts is not a clear direction to cease all activity and that as much as many people want to…

In Spanish-speaking countries, you have two last names. You pass on your first surname to your kid; the kid gets their dad’s surname first and mom’s second. Nobody changes their name ever. Obvs I’m accustomed to this system but it just makes sense and nobody gets confused.

While I understand the unity/child surname issue, my biggest issue with the name change is how infrequently it happens in reverse. How many men would be happy changing their surname to that of their wife?