I can just imagine her Bridezillas episode. It will be epic.

Assuming she grows up, that is. Justin and Caleb now have plenty of incentive to make sure that doesn't happen.

Complaining about food you let get cold or slow service if you're taking forever is silly. But...

No. No, you wouldn't.

OMG The Columbus Blue Jackets signed C Brandon Dubinksy through 2020!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all of you who are commenting on punctuation instead of a nice gesture, you have my heartfelt sympathy. I have also contacted the local quarry in your area and they are insterested in chipping away at your stone heart's. OH and any gramar and's punctuatuon errors in this post are intentional,just's to piss you…

Holy shit, I laughed.

The casual and unremarkable use of the sentence "Reddit user Coppin-it-washin-it's parents used to go to Red Lobster every year on their anniversary" is my new favorite thing about 2014.

WHO CARES ABOUT APOSTROPHES WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH BEAUTY IN THE WORLD?

Out of shape? Until his operation, he hadn't missed a game in 3 1/2 years.

The guy played 547 straight games before this injury, the longest active streak in the majors. What do you want him to do?

Sure, those same people would have their heart explode as the rounded 2nd base on a hit. Dudes overweight, sure, but he is also in much better physical shape than the average person. And that, to me, is fitness. It's that old "Skinny Fat" thing.

Fielder is currently on the DL with an injured neck. He can't do much to help his team win other than light physical therapy. Even if he was healthy, I don't see how taking time out to shoot a few pictures for ESPN hurts the Rangers.

I agree, posing for pictures SIGNIFICANTLY prevents the Rangers from winning ball games.

Er, going to a party and getting drunk does not make someone a lesser person, even if they are underage.

It's true we don't know much else about Jada or her life, but we DO know she is handling all this very bravely and seeing someone like her stand up for herself could make other victims feel less alone and more able…

Oh, I'm sorry. Are women and girls just not supposed to drink and ave a good time now? God forbid they do anything that isn't a sober, rational thought at a whopping 16 years old. Sounds like she had ONE drink, and it was drugged. Maybe we should give you a drink that is drugged and see how you react, being an adult…

P.S. I don't know Twitter's policy, and in general I believe in free speech, but if anyone knows if there's a way to stop the "#jadapose" thing, we should try.

Agreed. If there's anything good that comes out of this story, it's that at least I learned that a brave and great and wonderful girl, Jada, exists in this godforsaken cesspool called earth.

The district viewed video of the lap dance on a cell phone video.