Detective: “I didn’t do it!”Always with their hands up in the air and laughing, because HILARIOUS. But do me a favor chuckles. Instead of repeating the same joke the asshole in line in front of you at the convenience store JUST FUCKING SAID, please do something productive like leave a 6 pack of powdered donuts on my…

I got a job offer that could be cool but doesn’t start til around May, but I gotta find a job at least until then. Should I accept the first job then say haha nevermind suckas if I end up liking the one I get now better? Or turn it down now so if I need to go crawling back to them sometime in the future I won’t be the…

+1

Should I finally give up on my week long dream of finding her? She just looks like she’s really easy to talk to, you know

Sorry Big S., didn’t see your Hickey mention. Kinja changed like 12 years ago and I still don’t know how to see All Replies, even though there’s a button. And second on Bakes as well.

The Unbreakable Brian Hickey

"The fun ended unexpectedly."

Wow, thanks a lot for finding that CarlCarlerson. You're awesome!

Last time I promise, but posted this a few years ago as a response to a video some dumbass on Gawker made complaining about A.J. being in charge (wish I could find the post) just to show Craggs things were different here at DS. But now that he's leaving, well...go fuck yourself Thomas.

Still no one better than A.J. He's the best friend I've always wanted, if human tranquilizer guns were legal.

+1

I'm actually one of these silly people you speak of. How bout, I love golf+Rory McIlroy is fun to watch (especially since those whores ruined my pristine Eldrick!)+he likes Manchester United=so do I? Or are they like the Yankees? Or worse, the Cardinals? Or worser, Duke?

Holy shit this was funny.

I was in St. Petersburg in 1999 for a study abroad and when I asked for a beer they gave me Baltika 9. The old lady behind the bar at the next place we went wouldn't sell it to the women in our group because she said it was too strong and would barely sell it to me cause I'm short. I assured her I had Russian…

Well if faithfully married raising 4 kids Karen says it was a freak mishap, who are we judge?

"Maul" receivers? "Mug" receivers? Cornerback Wilmington G.T. Sparrowfield of the Portsmouth Spartans (nee Detroit Lions) never once had to maul or mug in his day! Why Mr. Sparrowfield would simply tap the receiver on his lapel and politely ask if he would not mind placing himself on the ground so as to not injury…

"Oh and one more thing while we got ya here Bob, apparently there was some sorta snafu and it seems David Eckstein also made the HOF with 75.13%. Your thoughts?"

+1

Deadspin commenter quarterly quality breakdown (scale of 1 to 6, with six being the highest because it's the highest) since World's Greatest Editor in the Entire World came up with fantastic idea that you still don't get cause you're not as smart as him dummy- 5.5, 5.2, 5.0, 4.6, 4.0, 3.3, 2.8, 2.2, 1.6, 1.1

This is great