Sac-town is full of janky and sometimes really nice Vanagon Westies. I have four living within a two block radius of me as well as two Bay window doublecabs. Place stinks of burning oil, patchouli, and high grade sensimillia.

Few things say "I h00n u" better than giving your buddy a mushroom stamp on his forehead through the window of a oppo'ed S13 via your "GoPro-on-a-stick" rig. Well played.

I can't seem to find a picture anywhere but I had "1AB 911S" (Wanne Be 911s) on my Cal Looked '71 Super Beetle when I was in high school. Broke my heart when I saw it a couple of years later still wearing it's aspirational plate but looking like someone had parked it in a lake under some boulders. No respect.

I drove my 25 year-old manual trans air cooled gross polluter to the gun range yesterday to shoot my 47 year-old blatantly unsafe pistol. I drove 150 miles round trip at extralegal speeds and blasted off somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 rounds through various shooters. I don't think I gave a second of thought as…

I refer to myself as a recovering attorney but a practicing alcoholic. I also always found it scary that folks refer to "practicing" law and medicine. When the hell are you supposed to stop practicing and actually get shit done right?

My late father-in-law topped this one. He was in NYC with his two daughters and wanted to get some furniture he bought back to their apartment. He was a thrifty man, so instead of hailing a cab he elected to take the bus. The bus driver balked at letting him on with the two end tables and tried to pull off, so while…

..and thus we are deficient but pleased. Took my 930 on a vintage rally and it leaked like a sieve from the windshield, busted an intercooler seal, and was generally Pam Anderson in the wet but dear babbling Jesus did I have fun.

Man, I just don't get all the haterade poured on this car and this effort.

Hank Hill would have never done something so silly.

Sun Tzu approves.

SAT winning!

Had nearly the same thing happen to my freshly painted "impact bumper"-vintage 911 but God was more merciful to me. I was headed out to an Auto-X at 0530 when the mood for a fresh coffee hit. While I was stopped at a red light trying to secure my coffee in the door pocket behind a newish GMC pickup with a shell, I…

That and also the fact that most race rubber will "heat cycle" out before all the tread comes off. Each time you heat and cool the tire the rubber gets a little harder and less sticky. There's a putz joke in there somewhere but someone switched out my coffee to decaf this morning so I am a little slow and will rely on…

#6 One of my buddies in high school had an '82 Maxima with the Mr. Roboto reminders. While the car was imminently unhoonable for fear of the body leaning over on the door handles in any curve above a brisk jogging pace, we did have some good times arguing with the car while under the effects of different mind altering…

Naughty inside pass there, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

Guess the Kony guy took himself a little road trip...

I have a fairly thirsty fleet, so I have to be thrifty with the Scotch given this disastrous development. On the other hand, I could just walk to the store to buy the booze and probably come out even.

Switch from Blue Label to Black Label. Ought to even out in mL/mile.

I rented an E350 Benzo from Hertz last weekend on a manager's special upgrade. It was complete crap. The gas pedal was leaden, the interior was no better than a high-line Toyota, and the electronic controls were completely frustrating. I was thrilled to get home to my Subaru but oddly content that I am not missing a…

Took my daughter to a local Bug-In meet in my 930. The guy at the gate said we could park outside for free and park inside for $20 for a regular car and $10 for a VW. I handed him $10 which earned a funny look and he asked where the other Hamilton was.